


a sinfonia de tudo que há

by firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin



Series: a sinfonia de tudo que há [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Brotherhood, Domestic Fluff, M/M, NaNoWriMo, Parenthood, Protective Hoseok, Romance, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-06 22:33:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8771977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin/pseuds/firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin
Summary: Hoseok’s son is somehow convinced their new neighbour is Prince Gumball, and Kihyun thinks Jooheon’s the cutest kid he’s ever seen.aka Hoseok is a single parent and Jooheon just wants his dad to be happy. (preferably with Prince Gumball, but that’s debatable)





	1. Prince Gumball comes to town.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stein](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stein/gifts), [zoran](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoran/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~title comes from an album made by a Brazilian band :D
> 
> SO, I TOLD MYSELF I wouldn't start writing anything new until I finished all my other works.  
> Joke's on me, I decided to gift my sister with a deadass long fic full of tiny Jooheon and parenting Kiho. Ha.  
> I regret my life choices so far. Kind of.  
> I'll ///TRY/// to update weekly, but that's not completely on my control, so, yeah. No promises.  
> Hope you enjoy it! \O

Hoseok knows that something’s wrong in the moment the house gets suspiciously quiet.

Don’t get him wrong, Jooheon’s a good kid, but, in the Shin’s home, silence means trouble; specially if coming from the four-year-old little boy. So it’s not an overstatement to say that Hoseok abandons everything in the kitchen ― where he was preparing their late breakfast ― and sprints towards the living room as soon as the sound of childish giggles and toys being thrown around is replaced only with the sound of the TV show Jooheon likes to watch every single day.

His suspicions are proved to be reasonable in the exact moment he steps inside the room, looking around with a worried frown, searching for his son. Jooheon’s standing next to their glass door ― the one that leads to their garden and their neighbour’s house ―, hands and face pressed against the glass. Relief immediately floods Hoseok’s system, but he’s a bit disappointed too.

“Jooheonie!” he calls out, and the little boy turns to him without taking his hands off the glass, eyes confused and surprised. “What I told you about that door?”

The younger blinks and thinks for a moment, not moving at all. Then, slowly, he furrows his small eyebrows together, retreating his hands to himself and giving his father a pouty look.

“That Jooheonie can’t touch it because it’s bad?”

It’s the apologizing tone on the boy’s voice ― and the way his lower lip quivers at the end of the sentence ― that makes Hoseok melt inside. He makes an ‘awn’ sound and immediately walks towards the younger, kneeling at his side and wrapping his arms protectively around him. Jooheon stops pouting, hugging him back and nuzzling against his father’s neck, humming contently.

“It’s not bad, Heonbee, it’s dangerous.” Hoseok presses a careful kiss at the top of the boy’s hair, rubbing his back, instinctively rocking him back and forth. “You can hurt yourself if appa’s not here. That’s why I told you to call me if you wanted to open it, remember?”

Jooheon nods, even though Hoseok knows that, no, his little boy doesn’t remember that. Honestly, he doesn’t know why he thought it’d be a good idea to put a  _ glass door _ on his  _ living room, _ from all the places he could’ve put it, but he regrets it immensely. If Jooheon was a bit more active ― or the type of kid to run around wildly without a care in the world ―, he sure as hell would have a big problem in hands by now. Hoseok doesn’t like to even think about it.

“What were you looking at, baby?” he gently taps Jooheon’s nose. The boy giggles and pushes his hands away, giving him a full-dimpled, toothy smile. “What caught the attention of my nosy little bee?”

“Mrs. Lee’s house is being invaded!” Jooheon points a small, chubby finger towards their neighbour’s house. “Look!”

Hoseok immediately looks up, caught off guard by the blunt statement, but, this time, his worry isn’t reasonable at all. The house isn’t being  _ invaded, _ per se, because there wasn’t anyone living in there for at least five weeks by now, but it’s not like Jooheon will understand if he tries to explain that. To his son, the lovely old lady that used to bake him sweets ― with enough charisma that Jooheon always ended up proving even the ones he didn’t like just so she wouldn’t have wasted her time doing it (what always made Hoseok tear up with pride) ― just took a vacation to somewhere else. Hoseok didn’t have the heart to tell him that she was moving out, but, apparently, as the house’s not on sale anymore, he’ll have to do it somehow.

“Uh, about that ―”

“Prince Gumball!”

Jooheon’s delighted squeal interrupts Hoseok and makes him blink in surprise. He’s at a complete loss of words, even more so when his son escapes from his arms to press his tiny hands against the glass once more. He turns to the older only to point towards the neighbour’s house, batting his finger on the door with such a fiery excitement that the other worries about the possibility of the glass break with it.

“Look, appa, look! It’s Prince Gumball!”

Hoseok doesn’t have any idea what Jooheon’s talking about, but he gently holds his hands to avoid letting him keep beating the glass before searching for whatever got his little boy so excited. It’s easy to find it, the clue being the ‘gumball’ thing. It’s a guy, probably younger than Hoseok, who wears a pastel purple sweater and, apparently, just took off the beanie, revealing a bright pink hair, just like bubblegum. Hoseok blinks.

“Prince Gumball’s invading the house, Prince Gumball’s invading the house!” Jooheon clutches at his father’s clothes, so excited that Hoseok has a hard time trying to keep up with him. “Open the door, oppa, please, open the door, open the door, open the door!”

“Woah, little bee, calm down.” he smiles at the pouty face Jooheon makes at him, whining a long, high-pitched  _ ‘appa!’ _ that always gets him whatever it is that he wants, because Hoseok  _ can’t resist _ that cute pout. “Okay, okay, wait a second.”

Under his son’s worshipping gaze, the older stands and unlocks the door, being deliberatedly slow in his movements just so he can watch the boy shifting on his foot, moving his hands excitedly and making awkward, cute noises of delight and anxiousness. When Hoseok finally opens the door, he barely has time to  _ breath _ before Jooheon’s out and running directly to the wooden fence that divides their yard from their neighbour’s.

“Prince Gumball, Prince Gumball, Prince Gumball!”

Hoseok rethinks for a moment about Jooheon not being ‘the type of kid to run around wildly without a care in the world’, smiling fondly before following the little boy, watching as the younger wraps his fingers around the wooden fence and keeps calling out ‘Prince Gumball’ like there’s no tomorrow.

The new neighbour soon finds out that the high-pitched shouts are directed to him. Hoseok sees his scowl when the pink-haired guy stops talking to the worker that’s helping him to move in and turns over, and concern immediately washes over his senses. Sure, Jooheon’s a lovely kid and people tend to like him a lot, but there’s always someone who doesn’t, and Hoseok doesn’t want him to have to deal with that type of thing yet ― not if he can do something about it.

Hoseok opens his mouth to call the little boy, but the other guy looks at him, and the words get stuck in his tongue. Sharp eyes and high cheekbones, the soft look doesn’t do much to hide the fact that the pink-haired neighbour seems ready to fight him. And then he looks down, to the place in the fence where Jooheon’s still waving wildly ― and, instead of scowling deeper or twisting his lips in disgust like Hoseok was kind of expecting him to do, the anger immediately dissipates from his eyes, his features softening. He blinks in confusion for a moment before dismissing the other guy with a movement of his hand and starting to walk towards the fence.

And Hoseok ― as the overprotective father he’ll always be ― never walked so fast in his entire life, positioning himself behind Jooheon, his hands resting on his son’s shoulders. The little boy looks at him, and Hoseok’s never seen his eyes so wide before. Their moment is interrupted when the new neighbour approaches, no longer scowling, and, although still a bit tense, apparently just confused. He gives Hoseok a lost stare before turning to Jooheon, his gaze softening even more once he notices the adoration glowing on the boy’s face.

“Uh ― hey, were you calling me, little guy?”

Jooheon gasps loudly, his lips opening and forming a perfect ‘O’.

“You’re so pretty.” and he turns to Hoseok, making grabby hands and pratically  _ jumping _ in excitement. “Up, appa, please, up!”

Hoseok smiles at his overexcited son, reaching out to hold him. Jooheon barely waits to be lifted before turning back to the pink-haired guy on the other side of the fence, already waving his arms wildly once again.

“Prince Gumball, Prince Gumball, why are you invading Mrs. Lee’s house?” and, before Hoseok can tell him that it’s not respectful to start a conversation like that, the little boy keeps going: “And  _ wow _ your hair is so pretty! Can I touch it, Prince Gumball, can I touch it? Is it true that you’re made of candy? I like candy. Appa doesn’t like candy. Appa says it’s not weal ― heal ― appa says candy is bad. But you live in Candyland, Prince Gumball, don’t you? Does that make you bad? I don’t think it does. You have pink hair! No one who has pink hair can be bad! Can I touch your hair, pretty please?”

And then Jooheon’s making the ‘lost puppy eyes’, and Hoseok’s so whipped he barely notices the awestruck look on the neighbour’s face. The pink-haired guy blinks slowly, opens his mouth to answer. Stares at the hopeful little boy in front of him, thinks about it again. Hoseok sees the decision in his eyes before the guy even reacts, giving an hesitant nod as an answer.

Jooheon makes a happy noise that sounds a lot like  _ ‘yay!’. _ When his son extends his hands towards the other, tiny fingers making the ‘grabby moves’, Hoseok notices the neighbour shuddering, as if regretting the decision. But the guy doesn’t back off, slowly moving his head so the boy can reach his hair. Jooheon breathes out a sigh when his hands touch the pink locks, mouth opened in awe, caressing it so carefully that you’d think he’s touching the most delicate thing in the world. Hoseok’s heart swells with pride, even more so when he notices the surprised look on the neighbour’s face, who was caught off guard by the gentleness of the touch.

“It’s so soft!” Jooheon smiles, retreating his hands and holding them close to his chest. He giggles, full of dimples and tiny teeth, before hiding his face on his father’s chest, shy all of a sudden. “Prince Gumball has soft hair, appa! He let me touch it, he let me touch it!”

Hoseok laughs at that ― he can’t help it, Jooheon’s too cute for his own good. He sends the neighbour a grateful look, and is met with a stare that can clearly be translated along the lines of  _ ‘what the fuck just happened’. _ It only makes Hoseok smile, though a bit more apologizing this time.

“Sorry about that.” he scratches the back of his neck, a bit embarassed. “He saw you from our living room and wouldn’t calm down if I didn’t let him come to talk to you.”

The pink-haired man makes an  _ ‘Oooh’ _ sound, though he still seems a bit out of place. Jooheon spies on him, giggles childishly and hides again. Hoseok rubs his back fondly before extending his hand to greet the other.

“I’m Hoseok, by the way. Shin Hoseok.” he nods towards his son. “And that’s Jooheon. I suppose you’re our new neighbour?”

The guy looks at his hand for a moment before shaking it, accepting his greeting.

“Yeah, uh, that’s basically it. I’m Kihyun.” and he gives him a somehow awkward smile. “Nice to mee you.”

Jooheon’s head perks up at that. He looks at his father before turning to Kihyun once more, eyes widening a bit.

“Prince Gumball is going to live in Mrs. Lee’s house?!” and he tugs at Hoseok’s shirt, enthusiastic. “He’s going to be our nei ― ne ―” Jooheon stops to pout in frustration. “What’s the word, appa?”

Even Kihyun smiles a bit at that, what only proves Hoseok’s point: no one can resist that pouty face. No one can resist those dimples.  _ No one. _

“It’s neighbour, Heonbee.” Hoseok gently taps Jooheon’s nose, because it never fails to make him smile ― this time is no different: just like before, the little boy giggles and pushes his hand away, whining  _ ‘stop, appa, it tickles!’ _ in a childish tone. “The word is neighbour.”

Jooheon hums in acknowledgement.

“Is Prince Gumball going to be our ―” he makes a pause. Blinks slowly. “Is he going to live at our side?”

Hoseok laughs at that, too ― partly because Jooheon’s the smartest little thing he knows, partly because Kihyun’s surprised face is funny. The pink-haired man opens his mouth to answer, a loud breaking noise comes from inside his house, and he ends up cursing instead. His eyes widen right after, flickering from Jooheon’s still excited face to Hoseok’s concerned features.

“I ― uh, that wasn’t ― I shouldn’t have said that.” he apologies, though his shoulders are tense and his posture changed from relaxed and slightly lost to angry once more.

“Appa says bad words all the time.” Jooheon’s answer comes out blunt, he doesn’t even think before saying it.

Hoseok facepalms, embarassed with his son’s raw honesty. Kihyun seems taken back with the statement.

“Jooheonie, you can’t go around saying things like that!”

The little boy looks at him, features confused.

“No?” his eyes widen a bit. “Is that bad? Jooheonie’s being bad?”

“It’s not bad.” Hoseok immediately pats his head, voice fond, reassuring. “Just ― uh, unusual. Not bad.” and he turns to Kihyun again, giving him a small smile. “Sorry about that, again. Is everything okay in there? Do you need any help?”

“Nah.” the pink-haired guy shakes his head and looks briefly at the house, lips pressed in a thin line, anger hardening his features a bit. “I told them to take care. I’ll just call the agency later. Probably. Thank you, though.”

“No problem.” Hoseok’s smile grows a bit. “You’re welcome.”

“Welcome.” Jooheon repeats, nodding solemnly, and then blinks. “What does welcome mean, appa? And why tehere’s a tap ― tapes ―” he struggles with the word. Pouts. Tries again. “― carpet on Prince Gumball’s window?”

Hoseok opens his mouth to answer, and only then he notices the boy’s choice of words. Just,  _ what?  _ By the look on Kihyun’s face, he’s also confused as hell. Both of them stare at each other for a moment before the pink-haired one turns to see what the kid’s talking about.

“Holy shit ― you’re not supposed to put that there!” he curses again before turning to his new neighbours one last time, scowling, but, still, looking a bit apologizing all the same. “I need to ― uh, I need to go in there.”

“Sure, sure.” Hoseok immediately agrees, comprehensive. “No problem. Jooheonie, say bye to Kihyun-ssi.”

“Bye, Prince Gumball!” Jooheon waves animatedly. “Nice to see you!”

“Meet, little bee.” Hoseok gently corrects him. “The right word is ‘meet’.”

Jooheon furrows his eyebrows together. Stops moving his hand for a second. Gives his father a confused look ― and then his whole face lights up like a Christmas tree, like he just understood what the older said. He nods excitedly and turns to Kihyun once more, giving him a toothy smile and waving again.

“Meet, Prince Gumball! Nice to see you.”

The look on Hoseok’s face must be priceless, because Kihyun lets out a quiet, melodious laugh before giving the little boy a small wave in return.

“Nice to meet you too, Jooheon, Hoseok.”

And he goes away under the little boy’s enchanted gaze and excited squeals of  _ ‘Prince Gumball knows my name, appa, Prince Gumball knows my name!’. _ Hoseok watches, a bit incredulous, as the smile on his son’s lips only grows, his eyes pratically closed, holding the older’s shirt between his small fingers, squeezing slightly.

“Prince Gumball lives in the next door, appa!” Jooheon turns to him, lifting one of his hands to tap childishly at his father’s cheek. “The. Next. Door! Can we invite him over one day, can we, can we?”

Hoseok laughs, ruffling his son’s hair fondly.

“Sure thing, baby bee, sure thing.”

Jooheon talks about ‘Prince Gumball’  _ the whole day _ after that.

Hoseok’s just happy his little boy is having fun with the news.

  
  


Nighttime is Hoseok’s favorite time in the day. He doesn’t know exactly why, but it is ― maybe because it’s when he gets time with his son during work days, maybe because Jooheon gets really clingy during that time, he doesn’t really know and he doesn’t really mind. What matters is that it’s his favorite time.

“Appa.” Jooheon’s voice is sleepy, edging a whine, and Hoseok looks down to the little boy on his lap, gently running his fingers through the kid’s hair.

“Yeah, Heonbee?” Hoseok’s answer is soft, fond.

They’ve been on the couch for an our or so since dinner, because Jooheon wanted to watch SpongeBob and the older didn’t see why not. That’s how they ended up here, with the boy sprawled all over him, head on his thighs, hands on his knees, yawning from time to time. Hoseok honestly just wants to hold him closer and cuddle him forever.

“Were you serious when you said Prince Gumball can come home?”

Hoseok smiles at Jooheon’s sleepy gaze, slowly untying the knots on his little boy’s hair. The younger makes a content sound at the back of his throat, nuzzling happily against his hand, appreciating the care.

“Yes, Jooheonie, I was. I am.” he pokes the boy’s dimples, effectively making him giggle, a bit more awake, playfully trying to bite his fingers. “But only if you obey me. It’s sleep time!”

“Nooo.” Jooheon whines, but lifts his hands up, as if demanding to be carried. “Bath time, appa, bath time! No sleep without bath!”

Hoseok laughs, turning off the TV and picking him up as carefully as he can. Jooheon immediately latches onto him, small arms wrapping around his father’s neck, lips twisted into a bit smile. When the older nuzzles against his neck and presses a sloppy kiss to his skin, the little boy starts giggling, pushing him away and complaining childishly.

“Eeew! No, appa, no!” he holds up a finger, making a ‘no no’ movement. “No kissing, no kissing! It’s icky.”

“Ooh, so my lazy little bee doesn’t like appa’s kisses?” Hoseok pouts dramatically before grinning devilishly. “Too bad appa loves giving his Heonbee kisses!”

And so he presses another sloppy kiss on his little boy’s neck ― and then on each one of his cheeks, and on his hair, and on his shoulders, holding him safely all the while. By the time they get to the bathroom, Jooheon’s full-on laughing, high-pitched and loud, and Hoseok’s cheeks hurt from smiling too hard.

“Stop, appa, stop!” the little boy’s shoulders shake from all the laughing and struggling to free himself of his father’s hold. “Jooheonie likes appa’s kisses, Jooheonie likes appa’s kisses!”

Hoseok stops just so the younger can take a deep breath, and he’s grinning so widely he’s sure he looks like a maniac. Jooheon’s cheeks are tainted pink, eyes a bit teary from laughing too hard, and he’s giving his father that  _ absolutely adorable _ eye-smile. Hoseok gently rubs his back, waiting for his son’s breath to normalize a bit before talking again.

“Does he?”

“Jooheonie does!” the little boy nods enthusiastically. “Pinky promise! Jooheonie loves appa and appa’s kisses!”

Hoseok chuckles, ruffling his hair fondly. Jooheon smiles proudly, and, when the older puts him sitting on the toilet to get the bathtub ready, kicks the air animatedly, legs too tiny to reach the floor by themselves yet.

“Does Jooheonie happen to also love bubbles?” Hoseok asks playfully, though he already knows the answer.

“Bubble bath!” Jooheon basically  _ screeches. _ Hoseok cringes a bit at that, but the smile doesn’t leave his face. “Bubble bath, appa, bubble bath!”

“What are the magic words, baby?”

“With the ramen made the love won’t fade!”

Hoseok laughs so hard his stomach  _ hurts. _

“No, no, little bee, the other magic words!”

Jooheon stops to think a bit. Gives his father a sheepish smile.

“Pretty please?”

Hoseok gives him a thumbs up.

“That’s my smart cookie!”

Jooheon seems pretty satisfied at that. While Hoseok gets everything ready for their bath, the little boy hums happily to himself something that sounds _ a lot _ like his father’s favorite song. The older soon finds himself humming along, smiling quietly to himself. It’s easy to convince the boy to take off his clothes to enter in the bathtub and not long after they’re both bathing, Hoseok gently rubbing the younger’s back, Jooheon playing with the bubbles like he’s never seen something funnier in his entire life. It’s easy and comfortable, their daily ritual before sleep, and Hoseok’s happy with the familiarity.

“Appa.” Jooheon blows a bubble. Watches it getting higher and higher, until it explodes with a small ‘pop’ sound. Hoseok mumbles out a  _ ‘Yes, Heonbee?’ _ to let him know he’s paying attention. “Does it rain on the Candy Kingdom?”

The older blinks confusedly at that. Jooheon’s talking non-stop about the whole candy thing since they met the new neighbour, and he still doesn’t know what it is. The little boy calls it ‘Candyland’ and ‘Candy Kingdom’, and Hoseok has no idea even if they’re the same thing or different places, because Jooheon never cared about specifics. He guesses he’ll have to start properly watching the TV shows with his little boy if he wants to have any clue about where they’re heading to when his son asks strange questions like that out of the blue.

“I guess it does?” though it sounds more like a question than it does as an answer, Hoseok knows Jooheon doesn’t mind at all. “Why?”

“Because rain makes candies disappear.” the little boy waves his arms on the water, succeeding at making more bubbles. He giggles happily. Hoseok rubs shampoo on his hair, taking care not to let anything fall on the younger’s eyes. “And Prince Gumball is made of candy! Can we make a pillow fort to him?”

The heartedly question takes his father by surprise. Hoseok stops moving. Jooheon turns to look at him with confused, innocent eyes.

“Appa?”

“I ― uh ―” Hoseok suddenly finds in himself that he’s at a complete loss of words. There’s a lump in his throat. “Sure, little bee, sure. Anything you want.”

Jooheon tilts his head slightly to the side. lips pressed together in a fierce pout while he furrows his eyebrows.

“Is appa sad?” and, before his father can deny it, the little boy lifts his hands up, putting them on each one of Hoseok’s cheeks, basically smashing them together. “Don’t be sad, appa! We can build one for us, too! And halmeoni. And daebu Hyunwoo. And Mrs. Lee, too! A lot of pillow forts to all the people we love. And animals! But no bugs. I don’t like bugs. Okay?”

Hoseok laughs weakly at that, not able to  _ believe _ the innocence of his son. He gently holds the little boy’s hands, squeezing them slightly, pressing them further against his own cheeks.

“Okay.” he says, and then: “Okay. Whatever you say, bubble boy, whatever you say.”

Jooheon gives him a toothy smile, full of dimples and all, before yawning, mouth opening ever so slightly, and Hoseok pats his head softly. The younger shies away from the touch, not content at all with the water splashing onto him.

“Welp, I see that my little bee is sleepy again.” he smiles at his son’s pouty face. “Shall we go to bed now?”

“No, no!” Jooheon shakes his head fiercely, crossing his arms. “Not yet!”

It takes a bit of coaching to convince the little boy to get out of the bathtub ― even more so to wash his teeth (“Jooheonie, you can’t eat the toothpaste!”, “No, no, you can’t lick it either!” and “Stop chewing on your toothbrush, Heonbee, that’s not good to your teeth!” are basically everything Hoseok chants for a while, until the boy eventually gives up on being a little rebel and washes his teeth properly) and dry him to put on some pajamas. Jooheon absolutely refuses to sleep in less than  _ at least two layers  _ of clothes, and Hoseok always tries to convince him to use lighter things. He doesn’t understand how the little boy manages to sleep with so many clothes, when to him is hard to even put a shorts or something.

“C’mon, Heonbee.” he pleads, giving the boy a caring stare, trying to change his mind just this time. The boy wants to use the fluffy bee pajamas, and it’s not even  _ that _ cold. “Just tonight. It’s warm enough. You don’t need all of that. Tomorrow you’ll be melting!”

Wrapped up from head to toe on his Adventure Time robe, Jooheon gives him a betrayed look before shaking his head a lot more fiercely than needed. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, swinging his legs childishly and watching as his fathers goes through the drawers in search of something that might make him change his mind and choose another pair of pajamas.

“Nope.” he pouts, crossing his arms stubbornly. “Not doing that, appa!”

Hoseok furrows his eyebrows together. It’s not like he really  _ minds _ that the boy likes to use heavy clothes ― whatever it makes his baby comfortable, he’s letting him use it ―, but he  _ does _ mind about the fact that Jooheon might end up feeling sick or anything like that if the clothes make him feel too warm. He doesn’t want that. He really, really doesn’t want that.

“Jooheonie, that can be bad to ―”

“Not doing it!”

The older stops, knowing that, when the other starts interrupting him, is because he’s very,  _ very close _ to cross some kind of non-official line placed between making his baby boy cry or leaving his baby boy sad. Jooheon’s lower lip is quivering. He sighs heavily.

“Okay, okay, I give up, I give up.” when the little boy’s shoulders relax, he approaches, gently rubbing the younger’s still wet hair. The other leans on the touch, making a sound of contentment at the back of his throat. “I’m not going to force you, Heonbee. And it’s okay if you want to take them off during the night. Just wake appa and I’ll help you, okay?”

Jooheon nods enthusiastically, already forgetting the whole ‘don’t use so many clothes with that weather thing’ and the upsetness, making grabby hands at him, and Hoseok smiles before picking the boy up. It’s easier to help him to put the pajamas this time, and Jooheon complains little to nothing when he starts rocking him back and forth while drying his hair, the little one enjoying the chance to nuzzle against his chest.

“Little bee?” Hoseok gently lifts him, letting the boy rest his head on his shoulder while putting the towel aside, crawling up to the headboard with the boy all wrapped around him. “Blanket or quilt?”

Jooheon mumbles out an incoherent answer that ends suspiciously like ‘ket’, so his father settles in for the first. He lies on the bed, pushing the fluffy blanket over them and holding the little boy securely against his chest, rearranging the pillows so both of them are comfortable and the risk of Jooheon escaping from his arms and falling off the bed is basically zero ― not like the boy will ever do that (because his son’s de cuddliest and clingiest person he knows), but it never costs to be sure.

That’s also familiar. Hoseok can’t remember a time when he didn’t sleep with the little boy on his arms ― he can’t remember a time when he didn’t love that little person so much, to the point of not being able to imagine his life without him. Though Jooheon  _ does _ have a room, Hoseok doesn’t really remember ever using it; maybe on their first nights, when the boy hadn’t warmed up to him yet, when there was an awkward strangeness hanging on the air and the younger seemed almost afraid of telling him what he really wanted to do or ot eat or how he wanted to sleep.

Hoseok’s happy that all of that is gone. He’s happy that now Jooheon’s happy and comfortable and more than willing to tell him everything he wants and everything he thinks and everything that goes through his little head ― even the craziest ideas ever. He wouldn’t change it for the world.

The younger sighs contently and snuggles against his father even more, going as far as to wrap his arms around the man’s neck just so he can press himself closer to him. Hoseok doesn’t complain, happy to have his little boy in such a proximity, gently running his fingers through the boy’s hair, receiving a tired yawn and a lazy smile in return.

“Goodnight, baby bee.” he murmurs, softly, fondly, taking care not to disturb the younger’s sleepy state.

Jooheon doesn’t seem to mind, though. He leans his head against Hoseok’s hand and hums quietly, comfortable and already halfway gone in slumber.

“Night, ‘ppa.”

The older presses a kiss onto his forehead. Jooheon’s already fast asleep.

The night is quiet. Everything’s good.

Hoseok drifts to sleep with a satisfied smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Jooheon’s lowkey (ok, highkey, who am i trying to fool) the most lovely child you’ll ever hear about, and I am totally not ashamed of that. THE CUTEST TINY BEE INDEED.
> 
> \- Also, an important point: see that ‘Slow Build’ tag? I’m using that tag. Like, a lot. An awful lot. I’m drowning in that tag. I’ve written more than 30k so far and things are just getting started. (I also have no regrets from it, but -q if you do plan on keep reading -q put your seatbelts and hold my hands, it’s going to be a long and wild road <3)
> 
> See you later! \O
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	2. It’s more like a song on a policeman’s radio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never know what to put in these notes .u.  
> First of all, thank you \o3o/  
> Second, oh, well \o3o/ I hope you like it \o3o/

Monday is always the worst day of the week.

Hoseok needs to wake up at six. Convince Jooheon to get out of bed with him so they can get ready for the day. And then convince him to get out of shower and not to eat toothpaste. Put on his work clothes and let his little boy wear something comfortable before going to make some breakfast. Jooheon will stay in the living room while he cooks, watching cartoons, and then they’ll eat together before Hyunwoo comes to take care of the little boy. Hoseok will give him the keys, the emergency numbers (his, his mother’s, the police, ambulance, the pediatrician’s, Mrs. Lee’s, the firefighters’ and that Kwangji guy from the music store) and say goodbye.

In theory, it’s an easy way of starting his morning.

Only in theory.

“Jooheonie. Jooheonie, c’mon.” he gently rubs the boy’s back, trying to wake him up at least for a bit. “Appa needs to go to work. Appa can’t go to work if Jooheonie’s not awake.”

He never did that. Hoseok doesn’t leave home unless Jooheon’s _at least_ half awake. Something about the idea of doing it makes him feel a bit sick ― no, no, if he’s going to say goodbye, even if just by a few hours, his little bee needs to be functioning properly. Hyunwoo calls him paranoid; Hoseok likes to think he’s just being cautious, maybe a bit overprotective, but that’s it.

“Baby bee.” he insists, and Jooheon mumbles something incoherent, moving his head a little, nuzzling against his father’s chest. Hoseok can’t help but smile fondly at the scene, counting it as a victory. “Baby bee, appa’s going to be late. Don’t you want to pass the day with Hyunwoo?”

“‘m ‘wake.”

The half-hearted, half-coherent mumble makes Hoseok chuckle. Jooheon absolutely _adores_ his godfather, to the point where only mentioning the guy is enough to have him fighting his precious slumber just so he’ll be fully awake by the time Hyunwoo comes over. If Hoseok didn’t know how much Jooheon loves him ― or if the boy didn’t say it so many times a day like he usually does ―, he’d sure as hell be jealous.

“Good morning, lazy bee.” Hoseok ruffles his hair gently. “Did you sleep well?”

Jooheon yawns and rubs his eyes with his tiny hands, still murmuring non-sense about being awake. It makes Hoseok want to squish the boy’s cheeks between his fingers, and, as his son’s usually not propense to let him do that when he’s fully awake, he takes the chance, cooing at him. It’s not his fault if his son’s the cutest little thing in the world, really. He’s halfway through start biting him playfully when Jooheon starts struggling, complaining.

“No, appa, no!” he covers his cheeks ― red from embarassement ― with his hands, squinting his eyes at his father. “Not Jooheonie’s cheeks, not Jooheonie’s cheeks!”

Hoseok smiles, pushing him closer to press a kiss onto the boy’s forehead.

“And Jooheonie’s dimples?”

The boy actually _thinks_ before nodding enthusiastically.

“Yes!” and he tilts his head slightly, giving his father the free pass to poke and kiss each one of his dimples. “Morning, appa!”

Hoseok laughs a little at that, moving to sit, holding the younger close. Jooheon doesn’t even flinch, only wraps his arms around Hoseok’s neck and rests his head on the older’s shoulders. Hoseok knows him well enough to be sure that, if he lets him, his son will soon fall asleep again, so he sticks to talking.

“So, what you and Hyunwoo are going to do today?”

Jooheon’s head perks up a bit at that. Hoseok gets out of bed and heads towards the bathroom.

“Daebu Hyunwoo said he’ll take me to the club!” the little boy waves his hands excitedly. “He’ll teach me to swim!”

Hoseok would trust his _life_ on Hyunwoo’s hands, and he _does_ trust the older with his son, but still. Worry tugs at the pitch of his stomach, making him frown a bit. Luckily to him, Jooheon doesn’t notice, really lost into the whole feeling of explaining exactly how Hyunwoo’s going to teach him, full of hands movements and sound effects.

“... And then we’ll meet daebu Hyunwoo’s sunbaenim.” Jooheon finishes, very proud of himself, and something clicks inside Hoseok’s head.

He stops dead on his tracks.

“Hyunwoo has a _date?” He’s taking_ **_my son,_ ** _my baby boy, my sweet little bee to his date?!_

Jooheon blinks slowly, confusedly, staring at him.

“A what?” and he scrunches up his nose a bit. “Date? What’s that, appa?”

Oh-oh. Hoseok’s mind turns into a puddly mass of thoughts, part of him wanting to call Hyunwoo right now and tell him he’s absolutely forbidden from using his Heonbee to go to a date, and the other part wanting to know why he didn’t hear about that before. He ends up smiling awkwardly at the little boy who watches him with curious features.

“Uh ― a date is ―” the innocence inside Jooheon’s eyes makes it hard for Hoseok to lie to him, but there’s _no way_ he’s about to have that talk so early. _No. Way._ Maybe in ten years ― or twenty ―, sure, but not now. He decides to tell only half of it, then. “A date is when a person likes the other very much, and, like, wants to spend time with them, and, uh, be with them in general.”

He doesn’t need to talk about the romantic shit behind the whole date thing, right? Right.

“Oh.” Jooheon’s face lights up, and, when Hoseok’s ready to change the subject, he goes on: “Daebu Hyunwoo has a date with Hyori noona!”

Hoseok blinks. Hyori…? Oh. _Oh._ He resists the urge to facepalm, wanting nothing but slap himself. It’s not a _date,_ damnit, Hyori’s probably going to ask Hyunwoo to work with her again.

“Hyori noona is nice to me.” Jooheon’s voice takes him out of his thoughts. Hoseok blinks, and the next thing he sees is his little boy frowning confusedly. “But daebu Hyunwoo doesn’t spend time with her, appa. Isn’t that bad? He spends more time with us. And he likes us a lot.” Jooheon blinks. Hoseok sees it coming by distance. “Does daebu Hyunwoo have a date with you, appa?”

Hoseok’s going to get _so much shit_ for that. He chuckles lightly at his son’s confused face before gently tapping his nose. Jooheon giggles.

“Nope. It’s not like that, Heonbee.” and, before the boy can try and ask him anything, his father completes: “I’ll tell you more when you’re older.”

Interest sparkles on Jooheon’s eyes at that.

“How old?”

Hoseok gives him a smile.

“Older.”

Jooheon pouts ― but his father knows it’s not really a complaint, even when the little boy whines something about curiosity and ‘too much time waiting’. Hoseo laughs openly now, not believing in such drama.

“Okay, okay, little bee, let’s quit talking. Shower or bathtub?”

“Shower!” Jooheon exclaims, throwing his arms up excitedly. “And appa’s shampoo!”

Hoseok shouldn’t ― not really ―, but he feels _proud_ every time his little boy says things like that. Jooheon may ask for it just because he thinks the smell is better than the usual ‘generic’ one, but the simple fact that he calls it ‘appa’s shampoo’ is enough to make Hoseok’s heart get a bit wild inside his chest.

He loves that kid. He really, _really_ loves that kid.

“Okay. Okay, Heonbee.”

Jooheon’s smile is bright as the sun, and Hoseok smiles back at him.

 

They end up getting a bit late for everything, as Jooheon refuses to let go off his father ― not that Hoseok’s complaining ― and, therefore, turns things a bit harder to do. The older can’t say he doesn’t understand, though; his little boy always gets clingy after they’ve passed the weekend together. So, when Hyunwoo shows up, Hoseok’s carrying Jooheon onto his hips, keys on one hand, breakfast on the other, hair still wet and sticking up to all sides, tie loosely arranged around his neck.

“Hey.” Hyunwoo’s smiling, comprehensive, and Jooheon immediately launches himself at him, squealing an excited _‘Daebu!’._ Hoseok just lets him, watching as Hyunwoo easily lifts Jooheon, hugging him fondly. “How’s my favorite dongsaeng doing?”

The little boy giggles. Hoseok shakes his head in disbelief.

“The same as always, hyung, the same as always.” he ruffles Jooheon’s hair lovingly, watching as the boy clutches at Hyunwoo’s shirt, moving his hands to touch the other’s face and his newly-dyed hair, fingers careful, eyes fascinated. “A little overexcited, I’d say, but that’s not uncommon, so…”

Hyunwoo’s smile grows at that. He holds Jooheon with a hand and extends the other towards the boy’s still half-eaten breakfast. Hoseok gives him a grateful look, but Hyunwoo’s already focusing on the little boy on his arms, hearing him as the kid talks non-stop about the cartoons he was watching just now. Hoseok rolls his eyes and closes the door while the older walks towards the couch, Jooheon still talking, but his lips are turned upwards because he can't even _pretend_ he’s upset about that.

He takes the chance to finish gathering his things up and throwing them on his suitcase on the most organized mess he can manage, using his own fingers to smooth his hair. He didn’t eat yet, but his teeth are washed and he has a natural sandwich securely packed inside the suitcase, so he counts it as a win.

Time to go.

“I’ll get a bit late today.” he says out loud while arranging the tie correctly, ignoring how uncomfortable it makes him feel. “Minkyun needs help with his paperwork and I said I’d help, so…”

“It’s okay.” Hyunwoo shakes his head, and Jooheon sits properly on his lap just so he can watch as they exchange words, eyes curious. “I’m sure Jooheonie and I can survive a bit more without you.”

“Ouch.” Hoseok puts a hand over his chest dramatically. Jooheon giggles, but hits Hyunwoo’s shoulder lightly, complaining a _‘don’t be mean to appa, daebu, don’t be mean to appa!’_ and pouting a bit when Hyunwoo only ruffles his hair as an answer to that. “You’re so cruel with me, hyung.”

Hyunwoo gives him a small smile. When Hoseok approaches, Jooheon immediately extends his hands towards his father, making grabby hands at him. Hoseok knows he’ll be late, but there’s absolutely no guilt in his body as he reaches the little boy to hug him. Jooheon sighs contently and wraps his arms around his father’s neck.

“Will you behave, little bee?”

“Yes!” Jooheon promises, and looks up at him right after, a sheepish smile on his face. “Can daebu buy me candy later, appa?”

Hoseok thinks a bit about that.

“Uh, Heonbee, I’m not sure about that…”

“I see no problem in taking him to the store after we’re done in the club.” Hyunwoo gives him the _‘if you’re saying it because they’re expensive, don’t worry’_ look. “If you’re okay with it, obviously.”

Both Hyunwoo and Jooheon are watching him attentively now. Hoseok knows that, if he says no, Jooheon won’t insist ― though he _does_ spoil his little boy a lot, Jooheon’s not really the type to throw tantrums from not getting things he asks for ―, and Hyunwoo won’t ever do things behind his back. If he says yes, though…

“Nothing with too much sugar.” he holds up a finger before the duo can celebrate. “And make sure he’ll wash his teeth after. And don’t buy the citric ones, they gave him stomachaches the last time.”

“Okay, papa bear, okay.” Hyunwoo rolls his eyes, but there’s a warm smile on his lips. “Jooheonie and I will behave.”

“Will you, Heonbee?”

“I will, I will!” Jooheon _screeches._ Hoseok cringes a bit. “Pinky promise, appa, pinky promise!”

“Okay, then.” he presses a sloppy kiss to the boy’s cheeks. The little boy’s so happy he doesn’t even _complain._ “See you later, baby bee.”

Jooheon holds his father’s face with his tiny hands, pressing a small kiss against the tip of his nose. Hoseok’s heart warms up at that ― because, no matter how much time passes, he’ll never get used to how gently the boy does that, to how delicately he holds him _every time_ he does that ―, he sighs and nuzzles on the boy’s hair. Hyunwoo watches them with his lips slightly turned upwards.

“Bye, appa!” the little boy smiles widely. “Tell Minkyun hyung I miss him!”

“I will.” Hoseok pats his son’s head. “Appa really needs to go now, okay? Appa will be back before dinner.”

“Pinky promise?” Jooheon lifts his tiny fingers, without bothering to move his head from the crook of the older’s neck. Hoseok can’t help but smile at that, latching their pinky fingers together and shaking them slightly.

“Pinky promise, baby bee.”

Jooheon giggles and presses a kiss onto his chin.

“See you later, appa.”

“See you later, Heonbee.”

If Hyunwoo didn’t know better ― if he didn’t know that Hoseok and Jooheon would keep saying ‘see you later’ and ‘bye’ in all types and forms they could think of, until the older’s too late to catch the bus and will need a cab to get to work in time ―, he’d let them have their moment. But, as he knows how important is that Hoseok _keeps_ the job, he soon comes to them, gently taking the little boy from his father’s arms.

Jooheon mumbles a muffled complain against Hoseok’s shoulder, but ends up letting him go without that much of a scene, a slight pout on his lips, crossing his arms childishly and giving his godfather an angry stare.

“Don’t look at me like that, baby boy.” he ruffles the boy’s hair fondly. Jooheon leans against the touch. “Your father will have plenty of time to spend with you later, okay? But now he needs to work. And you need to finish your breakfast.”

Jooheon still pouts a little, but it only takes him a look at Hoseok for his frown to disappear, fastly nodding.

“Okay, daebu, okay!” he holds up a finger, as if saying that there’s a condition for him to cooperate. Both Hoseok and Hyunwoo watch him with amusement on their eyes. “But we’ll save candy for appa! Appa says he doesn’t like it, but he always eats when he’s watching doramas!”

Hyunwoo laughs out loud at that. Hoseok laughs, too, even though his cheeks and ears are red from embarassement.

He leaves for work with a smile on his face.

 

Most of Hoseok’s work time is passed in front of a screen.

He computes things. That’s what he does ― sometimes he helps someone here or there with another things, but his work, specifically, is pretty boring. Since it’s a (really) small agency of home decoration, Hoseok doesn’t have much to do when the marketing isn’t going wild with weddings and people moving in or moving out.

So, it’d be an understatement to say that he doesn’t feel guilty in the slightest when he stops what he’s doing ― it’s almost lunch time anyway ― to see the pictures Hyunwoo’s sent him.

Also, he’s friends with his boss, so it’s not like he’s going to get into trouble for that. Kind of. Tao’s absolutely whipped for Jooheon without even knowing him, because Minkyun makes the propaganda right ― but Hoseok still owes his boss a visit with the boy. Uh. He’ll need to think about that later. After seeing the photos. _Definitely_ after seeing the photos.

The first one is of Jooheon giving a toothy smile and thumbs up for the camera, a bright red cap on his head, wearing the Big Bang shirt Hoseok (shouldn’t, but did anyway) wasted a lot of time searching and money buying for him. The caption reads **‘he refused to get another shirt. what are u doing to my baby boy, you weirdo’.**

Hoseok’s smile is so big his cheeks are hurting. He types an answer before downloading the others. **‘mY JOOHEONIE. MY LITTLE BEE. I’M CRYING ACTUAL TEARS OF JOY’.** Hyunwoo sends him an emoji with a bored face and a **‘seriously?’.** Hoseok ignores him in favor of scrolling down through the other pictures.

One is of Jooheon in his bathing suit, cheeks stuffed with air, his arms crossed and lips twisted together in a fierce pout. Hoseok’s heart hurts a little at that, already missing his baby bee; he looks at the watch attached to the wall, calculating how much time remains for him to meet him again. At least four hours. _Four._ He bites his lower lip, swallows the lump in his throat and keeps going.

 **‘Early lunch with Hyori’** is the caption on the next one. The woman’s kissing Jooheon’s cheek, smiling, and the boy’s face is _completely_ red ― all the way from his ears down to his neck and shoulders. Hoseok can tell they were still on the club when the picture was taken ― if Jooheon being shirtless is anything to go by ―, and he finds out that this was an hour ago. He tries to guess what made his little boy blush so hard, but nothing comes to his mind, and he decides to just ask Hyunwoo later.

The last was sent barely ten minutes ago, of Jooheon holding a pink cotton candy that’s almost as big as his head, staring at it in complete awe. **‘what’s that with pink? last time we came, he almost cried for the blue one’.**

Hoseok actually stops to think ― confusion making him furrow his eyebrows a bit, not understanding why, suddenly, Jooheon’s so interested in pink candies. Sure, the little boy always liked the sweetest ones (usually the red or blue ones), but… It takes him a minute or two to find an answer to that.

 **‘oh’** he sends, and then: **‘our new neighbour has pink hair’.**

Hyunwoo sends an interrogation. Hoseok smiles at that.

**‘long story short: he’s convinced Prince Gumball is living on the next door’.**

“Hyunwoo’s sending you Jooheonie’s pictures? I want to see them!”

Minkyun’s excited voice startles Hoseok and makes him curse out loud, almost throwing the phone on the floor with the fright.

“Damnit, Minkyun!” he puts a hand over his chest, where his heart’s beating wildly. “Do you want to kill me?! What the hell, man?!”

The younger laughs at that, approaching to take a look at his phone and smiling brightly once he notices that, yes, they’re Jooheon’s pictures. Hoseok passes him the phone without even blinking, knowing that Minkyun’s going to ask anyway.

“He’s so _cute.”_ the younger smiles at the screen. “And he’s growing so fast! The last time I saw him he was, like, as tall as my knees!”

Hoseok just smiles back at him, as the proud dad that he is.

“He must be by your thighs now.” he states, watching with amusement as Minkyun gasps and turns to look at him with wide eyes.

“What? No!” he looks at the pictures again. “No way! Jooheonie’s already so big? I feel like I haven’t seen him in ages, hyung! When will you bring him here again?”

Hoseok doesn’t like to bring Jooheon to his work place. Not because he thinks the boy will disturb the place, because, beside the fact that Jooheon has the habit of gaining fans wherever he goes, he doesn’t do much of a mess when he goes to places that are not: **a)** their house, **b)** his grandma’s house, **c)** Hyunwoo’s apartment; and even then, he tends to stick around clinging onto people instead of taking things out of their designed places. He doesn’t think it’s a good idea because he doesn’t believe he’ll be able to work properly with his baby boy so close; and, if he does it, it means that he won’t be so focused on his son, and that leaves a chance for Jooheon actually doing something dangerous or risky, and that’s _absolutely not_ an option for Hoseok.

He’s _not_ paranoid ― he just likes to have the upper hand.

“I don’t know.” Hoseok admits, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “Why don’t you come to visit us sometime? Jooheon told me to say he misses you.”

Minkyun makes an ‘own’ sound, giving the little boy on the screen another fond look before extending the phone towards the older again. Hoseok takes it with a thankful smile.

“I’ll try to talk with Yoosu about it.” the younger says, thoughtful. “You know how he is about kids.”

Yeah, Hoseok does. That’s why he almost never invites them to hang out or to come over ― because Jooheon will follow him wherever he goes, Yoosu liking it or not, and there’s no changing that. Hoseok feels kind of bad about it, because Yoosu _is_ a nice guy; it’s just the fact that he absolutely refuses to hang out around children that doesn’t let them be closer, and that’s not something Hoseok can change.

If he could, he wouldn’t anyway.

“Come alone, then.” he shrugs. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. Besides, it’s not like you’re doing anything wrong.”

“I’ll think about it.” Minkyun promises, expression softening a bit. “But no promises. Even because you owe Tao a visit, too. He’s starting to think you want Jooheon all to yourself.”

“That wouldn’t be bad.” Hoseok winks at the younger’s horrified face.

“You wouldn’t!” Minkyun gasps, clutching at his heart in a dramatic way.

“I totally would.” Hoseok nods proudly. “My little bee is too precious for this world anyway.”

“What a crime, hyung! Keeping such a lovely person away from us!”

Hoseok laughs at that. He’s kind of kidding _without_ kidding. If he could, he _would, yes,_ protect Jooheon from the world and all its bad people. Like that’s not something he can do ― because locking the boy away is _not_ an option ―, he sticks around the idea that he’ll do what he can, at the time he deems necessary; like avoiding letting the boy near people who probably won’t like him or people who he _knows_ that won’t treat his son in a good way.

That’s not the case for Minkyun ― nor it is for Tao. They’re both great people, they wouldn’t _ever_ make Jooheon upset or treat him badly. He can make an exception or two on the whole ‘not bringing his tiny bee on work place’ thing for them.

“I’ll try to bring him the next week.” Hoseok promises, giving Minkyun a kind look. The younger’s eyes _shine_ with the news. “Tell me when Tao’s going to be there and I’ll talk with Hyunwoo to bring him with me.”

“It’s always about Tao.” Minkyun huffs playfully. “You make me feel _so_ special, hyung.”

Hoseok sticks his tongue out at him in a childish way, shooing him away with his hands without getting out of the chair.

“You totally can visit us, okay? The door’s always open.”

Minkyun mutters something that sounds suspiciously like _‘you tell that kicking me out of your room, what a beautiful way to express yourself’,_ but it only takes an arched eyebrow for him to give the older a sheepish smile and bow his head fastly.

“I’ll talk with the boss about it, then, I’m sure he can find a good day to show up!” Minkyun stops for a moment, thinking about it. “Is there a day that it’s not okay for you two?”

“Just, not Friday.” Hoseok answers without batting an eyelash, and smirks right after. “Friday is grandma’s day to stay with him. She’ll totally kick my ass if I take that away from her. Also, Jooheon promised her a drawing. He’s reminding me about that since last Wednesday, and he’ll get very upset if I don’t let him give it to her.”

“Not Friday, then.” Minkyun nods comprehensively. “Got it. Seokwon and I are going to that cheap reastaurant at the end of the street, do you want anything?”

“Nah.” Hoseok shakes his head. “I’ll catch up with you later. Or just get take out. Whatever it’s easier.”

Minkyun rolls his eyes and mutters _‘take out. again. you’re the unhealthiest person i know, and i know_ a lot _of people, hyung_ ’ under his breath. Hoseok throws a pen at him.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“Get out of my room, you bratty, annoying little person.” Hoseok shoos him. “Go, go! You’ll be late for your lunch.”

Minkyun rubs the place on his arm where the pen hit him, and smiles in disbelief at the older.

“Okay, hyung, okay. See you later, then.”

Hoseok waves him goodbye.

 

The way back home always, _always_ seems longer than it should.

Hoseok doesn’t know exactly why, but it does. Maybe it is because he’s excited to see his son again, maybe it is because he wants to hear him telling how was his day, maybe it is because Hyunwoo always has so many photos to show and things to tell. Hoseok always feels like he’s missing a big part of his baby boy’s life in moments like these, because he’s almost never _there_ to see it by himself, but he always tries to shrug it off with the certainty that it’s for the better.

He’s applying for new jobs, for things that won’t take him so much time and, still, will give him enough money to keep the house and make the savings for Jooheon’s education; if it depended only of his will, he’d be at his boy’s side _all of the time. All of it._ He’s not even ashamed to admit that kind of thing, because everyone around him knows how much he loves the boy.

Jooheon himself seems to know that ― and Hoseok’s glad, even though he tries not to think about that so much. He wishes he could have more time around his baby bee instead of just weekends and nights, but, for as long as it’s not possible, he’ll stick around with what he can.

He steps out of the bus in silence, shoulders a bit tense for the long day, and watches the neighbourhood for a moment. All the houses kind of look-alike, painted in different shades of pastel colors, some with gardens, some only with grass, some with none of them. Hoseok remembers how he chose this place to live with his boy in the heat of the moment, thinking it looked calm and familiar, and he doesn’t regret it one bit.

It’s easy to walk home and think of how it’ll be when things get financially _better_ for them, what he’ll do, the places he’ll show him, all the things he’ll teach him and all the memories they’ll make together, to add on the pile they already have. The closer he gets to their house, the most eager Hoseok feels, fingers shaking a bit while searching for the keys on his pockets, biting his lower lip with enough force to draw blood.

The sound of childish, warm laughter coming from inside eases the heavy weight on his chest and makes him smile again.

Hoseok’s home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¹There's not a specific word for 'godfather', so I'll use 'samchon'/'uncle' instead. (Thank you @Haenii for explaining me! ♡)
> 
> \- Just a note, but: it'll take a while for Kihyun to be a recurrent character. He'll appear here and there until he cements a relationship with both Hoseok and Jooheon. I don't plan on rushing things, but I'm almost sure it won't take too long for some things to start happening, so, yay :D
> 
> \- Also, all angst thing is fake angst e3e there won't be oMG ANGST anywhere ― conflict, yes, and also a bit of drama, but not angst.
> 
> \- I already said that, but it won't hurt to repeat o3o I love tiny Jooheon so much it hurts ;^; the tiniest, cutest bee ;^; also, about words he might possibly say/spell wrong: I'm going by instinct. I still know basically nothing about Korean language, so I'm picking the words I have problem saying in English (as it's not my first language and all).
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3
> 
> See you next Sunday! \O


	3. Look at the light through the windowpane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gUESS WHO'S STICKING TO WEEKLY UPDATES. YAY.  
> Love y'all <3  
> Enjoy \o

Hoseok ends up forgetting about the whole ‘new neighbour’ thing for a while ― he works and works and helps his mother with her new cafe, and then Minkyun breaks an arm falling from upstairs and he has more work to do and more things to plan and organize and he doesn’t even _remember_ the pink-haired guy.

Kind of.

“Appa, can we invite Prince Gumball to dinner?”

Hoseok lifts his head up to find Jooheon staring at him with a hopeful face. They’ve been relatively quiet for the last hour or so, waiting for Hyunwoo to finish their dinner ― because Hoseok’s lazy like that, and the older offered anyway ―, and the little boy was drawing until just now while Hoseok works on Minkyun’s late paperwork.

It’s Thursday. Hoseok has no idea what Jooheon’s talking about.

“Excuse me, little bee?” he puts the folders and papers aside, leaning to watch his baby boy more attentively. “Come again?”

“Can we invite Prince Gumball to dinner?”

Jooheon has this tiny smile on his lips, swinging his hands back and forth, anxiousness showing on his small body. Hoseok thinks a bit, blinks slowly.

“Tonight?”

“Yep.”

The little boy’s starting to blush, deep red slowly creeping onto his cheeks, and he’s chewing on his bottom lip nervously. Hoseok taps his cheeks to remember him that the movement will hurt him. Jooheon stops, almost pouting, and his father smiles kindly at him.

“Okay. Wanna do it now?”

“Yes!”

Hoseok chuckles lightly at Jooheon’s excitement, stretching to get rid of the tension on his shoulders and nodding. The little boy pats his knees, urging him with a high-pitched _‘Let’s go, appa, let’s go!’,_ and Hoseok can’t find in himself the will to tell him to calm down a bit. He stands and extends his hand for his son to grab, and Jooheon does so without even thinking about it, holding tight onto his fingers.

He doesn’t deem necessary to tell Hyunwoo about it ― the older doesn’t really appreciate when someone interrupts his ‘holy moment’ of making dinner, and Hoseok knows he’s not going to mind if they invite another person or two to eat with them. And, with that in mind, he helps the little boy onto the way out of the house, gently rubbing his thumb on circles onto the back of Jooheon’s hand to give him confidence.

“Will you ask him, baby bee?”

“I will!” though the answer is excited as always, Jooheon’s fingers squeeze his father’s harder, eyeing the neighbour house suspiciously ― Hoseok has no idea what’s going through his mind, but he doesn’t want his little boy to get tense at something so simple like this.

“Don’t worry, Heonbee.” he runs his free hand through Jooheon’s hair. The boy hums contently. “I can invite him for you.”

Jooheon gives him a toothy smile. Hoseok smiles back, and they make their way towards the door. The little boy eyes the neighbour’s garden curiously, probably without understanding why Mrs. Lee’s flowers ― that he used to help her take care of ― are not there anymore, but doesn’t ask anything. Hoseok pats his head gently once more before hitting the doorbell, Jooheon’s attention immediately draw towards the door.

They wait together in silence, Jooheon anxiously moving his weight from a feet to another, chewing on his bottom lip again. Hoseok’s about to call him out on that, but then the door’s being open, and he lifts his head up to greet the neighbour.

Except that it’s not the pink-haired guy ― Kihyun, if he’s not mistaken ― whom he meets.

Hoseok’s never seen this boy in his entire life.

“Uh…” the other has an auburn-like hair, big roundy glasses on his nose, and he seems a bit confused as to why there’s a guy and a kid on his front door at eight pm. “May I help you?”

Jooheon hides behind Hoseok’s legs so fast that he almost knocks him over. The older stumbles slightly, under the frightened gaze of the guy that watches them, and looks down at his son, confused. The confusion fades as soon as he sees the scared look on Jooheon’s face, as soon as he notices how fiercely the boy’s holding his legs, almost as if his life depends on it. His eyes are wide and fixed onto the other guy’s face, mouth half-opened in surprise.

Oh. _Oh._

“Uh, actually…” Hoseok clears his throat, ignoring the awkward silence between them. “Yes, uh, you can. We live next door. Is Kihyun home?”

The boy blinks. Looks at him. Looks at Jooheon. Looks at him again.

“He’s working.” he blurts out, kind of blunt.

Hoseok swallows dry. Jooheon squeezes his legs harder, hands shaking.

“Oh. Uh. Oh.” _Way to start a conversation, Hoseok. Damn._ “Can you please tell him Hoseok and Jooheon said hi?”

The other is fast to answer this time.

“Sure.” he nods, and opens his mouth to say something more when Jooheon finally speaks up, interrupting him.

“Did he kick Prince Gumball out?”

The guy seems taken back by that. Hoseok closes his eyes for a second, cursing quietly under his breath before looking down at his son. Jooheon’s staring at him with wide, tearful eyes, and Hoseok’s heart breaks a little.

“I said he was invading the house but I didn’t want Prince Gumball to get kicked out!” Jooheon’s lower lip starts to quiver. He lifts his hands up to grab Hoseok’s shirt. “Up, appa, up!”

Hoseok doesn’t hesitate before lifting the little boy, and Jooheon immediately latches onto him, hiding his face against his father’s chest and sniffling. He basically regrets bringing the boy with him while gently rubbing his baby bee’s back and shushing him in a low, comforting tone. The stranger watches them confusedly, and then something on his face lights up.

“Oh, you are ― shit!” he hits his forehead, groaning. “You’re _the_ neighbour. Damnit.” he gives Jooheon a somewhat sorrowful gaze before turning to look at Hoseok. “Sorry about that. I, uh, I’m Kihyun’s brother, Changkyun. I ― uh, I wasn’t with him when we moved in, so…”

“It’s okay.” Hoseok rocks Jooheon back and forth, but, even then, the little boy refuses to ease the hold on him. “Really. Not your fault.”

Changkyun still has a bit of sadness on his eyes, and he approaches a step, mouthing a silent _‘Can I?’_ to the older. Hoseok hugs Jooheon tightly, but nods once to say it’s okay. Changkyun puts a gentle hand on the little boy’s head, softly caressing his hair.

“Hey, kid.” his tone is a lot warmer now, and Hoseok doesn’t miss the way Jooheon takes a deep breath at that, relaxing just a little bit. “Kihyun’s just working, okay? I didn’t ― uh, I didn’t kick him out. He’s just, like, busy right now.”

“Like appa when appa needs to work, baby bee.” Hoseok adds, softly, trying to make his son understand, but, all in all, it doesn’t seem to have any effect on the kid.

Jooheon sniffles, still not looking at any of them. His father presses a kiss against the top of his head, holding him fondly. Changkyun retreats his hand to himself once more.

“I’m sorry.” he repeats, and he really seems to feel it. “If I knew he’d react this way I wouldn’t have said it.”

“Don’t worry.” Hoseok shakes his head, giving him the most friendly smile he can muster. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Kihyun’s really out right now.” Changkyun bites his lower lip, before offering, a bit hesitant: “I can tell him you two came?”

“That would be nice.” Hoseok nods. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Changkyun gives him an apologizing smile, taking a step back, entering the house once again.

Hoseok waves him goodbye and wishes him a goodnight, and the neighbour does the same, remembering to add a _‘Goodbye, Jooheonie!’_ before closing the door ― Hoseok appreciates the gesture, and Jooheon eyes Changkyun suspiciously for a brief moment before hiding against his father’s chest again. Hoseok kisses his forehead fondly, knowing that his little boy is less likely to start crying or to get more upset now, and starts walking them home.

Jooheon’s usually an easy kid, he doesn’t throw tantrums and it’s not hard to distract him, but Hoseok knows better than try and cheer him up now. When his baby boy gets upset enough to get quiet, he knows it’s better not bother him or anything like that. Jooheon nuzzles against him, arms wrapped around his neck, and Hoseok lets him have his moment. His son ― being the tiny happy bee he is ― never gets upset for too long, and he knows it’s just a matter of time until the boy’s being his usual self again.

“Appa?”

Ha. Bingo.

“Yes, little bee?”

“What does a prince do?”

Hoseok blinks. Looks at the little boy. Jooheon’s playing quietly with the top button of his shirt, lips slightly twisted, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. He thinks about it for a while, and answers the kid when they’re already home again.

“I don’t know, baby bee.” he ruffles the younger’s hair fondly. “I guess they do, uh, prince-like things?”

“Like they do in the movies?” Jooheon lifts his head up, looking at him curiously. And there it is, the upsetness gone and replaced by nothing but raw, pure innocence.

“Actually…” Hoseok stops, hesitating. Jooheon reaches his face to play with his hair. Hoseok changes his mind ― he’s not about to break his baby boy’s heart for nothing; and it’s not like it’ll make much difference on the long run. Better let him enjoy his childhood fully than throw the reality at him. “Yeah. Like they do in the movies.”

Jooheon makes an _‘Oooh’_ sound, mouth opening a bit. He’s still with his hand on his father’s hair, Hoseok takes the chance to turn his head and bite his tiny fingers playfully, keeping his lips pressed against them to avoid actually using any teeth. Jooheon giggles and pushes him away, whining a childish _‘No, appa, no!’._ Hoseok pretends to be hurt, faking a sad look. Jooheon holds his face between his small hands and presses a sloppy, apologizing kiss onto his cheek. Hoseok fakes an _‘Eew’_ sound at that. Jooheon pouts.

Hoseok flashes him a smile.

“We can invite Kihyun over this weekend, if you want.” he watches his son’s face softening at that, pout almost disappearing. “It’ll be less likely for him to be working. And we can invite his brother, too.”

Jooheon shrinks a bit, looking away and pressing his lips together more fiercely. Hoseok’s smile falters.

“Do we need to, appa?” before his father can say something about it, the little boy adds, quite sheepishly: “He’s scary.”

Hoseok has no idea how ‘scary’ can be used to describe a small boy wearing glasses bigger than his face, but it’s not like he’s about to ask anything. He can’t let Jooheon keep that line of logic, though, because they barely know the guy.

“He was very kind to us, Jooheonie.” Hoseok caresses his hair delicately, not really scolding his son, but trying to show that the thought is not okay. “You shouldn’t say that.”

Jooheon’s cheeks get tainted pink. Hoseok finds it kind of cute that his little boy almost always gets embarassed when he calls him out on something, as if he’s ashamed of doing ‘something bad’.

“Sorry.” the younger mumbles, and then: “He has bird eyes.”

Hoseok blinks confusedly at that.

“I thought you liked birds.”

Jooheon pouts.

“They’re mean.”

He says it as if it’s an obvious thing, and Hoseok decides not to ask.

“Okay.” he gently pinches the boy’s cheeks. Jooheon giggles and slaps his hand away. “Now, what do you think about ―”

“Hey, dynamic duo!” Hyunwoo’s voice calls out from the kitchen. “Dinner’s ready!”

All remaining traces of upsetness leave Jooheon’s eyes, and his face lights up like a Christmas tree. He immediately turns to his father.

“Dinner time, appa, dinner time!” and he throws his arms up excitedly. “Dinner time with samchon!”

He almost makes it seem like they don’t do that every night from Monday to Thursday. Hoseok chuckles, happy to have with him a little boy who gets satisfied so easily, and ruffles his hair kindly. Jooheon leans on the touch, pout already long forgotten, and hums contently. Hoseok kind of wants to _bite_ him.

“Not that I mind, buddy, but there won’t be food for you if you don’t come soon.”

Hoseok turns his eyes off Jooheon to find Hyunwoo watching them with an amused, fond smile. He arches an eyebrow at the older.

“What?”

“Me and Jooheonie will eat everything.” Hyunwoo approaches, making grabby hands at the boy. Jooheon, as the little traitor he is, immediately throws himself at him, giggling wildly. “So come now or don’t come at all, dongsaeng.”

Hoseok gasps dramatically, putting a hand over his chest and giving both his son and his best friend a betrayed look.

“Would you left me behind like that? You’re so cruel!”

Hyunwoo decides to play along and holds Jooheon on his shoulder like a towel. The little boy squeals a bit, legs swinging in the air, but there’s an immense smile on his face, full of dimples and all. Hoseok has a hard time not laughing at the scene.

“Say goodbye to your father, baby boy, you’ll be my minion from now on!”

Jooheon laughs, but he’s shaking his head and trying to turn, his arms extended towards Hoseok.

“No, no!” he makes grabby hands at him. “Don’t be mean to appa, don’t be mean to appa!”

Hoseok catches the little boy again, showing off his tongue to Hyunwoo in revenge.

“I can’t believe you two.” the older shakes his head in disbelief, but his lips are turned upwards, so it can’t be that bad. “Really.”

“I’m not sorry.” Hoseok shrugs nonchalantly. “He loves me.”

“I do!” Jooheon chirps, loud and high-pitched. “I do, I do! I love appa a lot!”

Hoseok tears up a bit at that, because, honestly, there’s no easier way to make him cry than hear his son saying such a thing so sincerely, so happily. Hyunwoo notices it and pats his head gently.

“Stop being such a papa bear, Hoseok.” he says, though the younger knows it’s just a half-hearted complaint. “He literally says that all the time, you weirdo.”

Hoseok sniffles and rubs his eyes with his free hand. Jooheon watches them curiously.

“Let me live, hyung.” Hoseok pouts. “Don’t pretend you didn’t feel the same way when he first told you that.”

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes and pushes him towards the kitchen.

“It was different. He says that to you every two minutes or so.” he arches an eyebrow. “And you tear up, like, every time. _Every. Time.”_

Hoseok pouts harder. Jooheon pokes his cheek to call him, and the older stops the scene to look at his son.

“Is appa sad?” and, before Hoseok can tell him that it’s not it ― not in the slightest ―, the little boy keeps going: “Don’t be sad, appa, don’t be sad! Samchon did ramen for dinner! If he didn’t, we can do! Don’t be sad, appa, the love won’t fade!”

And then it gets worse. Kind of.

“And then Jooheonie will sleep and appa can have a date with samchon!”

Hyunwoo chokes on air. Hoseok laughs out loud from nervousness. Jooheon watches them with curious, confused eyes.

“Isn’t that okay?” he asks, sounding honestly lost.

“Where did that come from?!” Hyunwoo gives the little boy a horrified look. “He’s, like, four, Hoseok! _Four!”_

Jooheon holds up four tiny fingers, as if agreeing to his godfather’s point, what only makes his father more amused. Hoseok smiles and ruffles his hair fondly to let him know that he did nothing wrong. The little boy smiles back and nuzzles against his hand.

“I have no idea, hyung, I have no idea.”

  


It takes a while to convince Jooheon that they don’t need to make ramen for his father to be happy again (first because Hoseok wasn’t sad in the first place, and then because Hyunwoo’s dinner is so surprisingly awesome that Hoseok doesn’t think he’ll be able to eat anything else), and then a bit more of coaching to make him stop trying to go to sleep alone ― because, honestly, there’s _absolutely no way_ Hoseok will let his little boy alone if he doesn’t need to; even less for a date. Like he’d _ever_ go out with someone who makes him leave his Heonbee alone. Ha. (And he wouldn’t date Hyunwoo either. Not that his best friend isn’t awesome and all ― he’s just not his _type._ Also, Hoseok’s not searching for a relationship, he’s not really interested. Not at all.)

They end up piled together on the couch, Hoseok lying against Hyunwoo’s shoulder, Jooheon comfortably sprawled against his chest, his father’s arms holding him securely and keeping him warm. At one point, Hyunwoo wraps an arm around Hoseok’s shoulders, absentmindedly running his hand through the younger’s hair.

Hoseok appreciates the gesture, leaning against his best friend’s hand and sighing contently. It’s probably the first time during the day that he feels like he can relax a bit and get some rest, and he’s so comfortable that the tension finally starts to leave his body.

“Rough day?” Hyunwoo asks quietly, trying not to disturb the little boy sound asleep on the younger’s arms.

Jooheon mumbles something incoherent, moves a bit. Hoseok soothes his son by rocking him back and forth, and waits until the kid nuzzles against him before answering his best friend.

“Rough week.” he sighs and looks down at Jooheon, fingers delicately caressing the boy’s face, the soft features, the heart-shaped lips, the pixie nose. “I wish I could come home early. Or, I don’t know, have more time to spend with him.”

Hyunwoo hums, understanding, but he knows it’s not just it, so he waits for the younger to keep going. Hoseok takes a moment to himself, trying to organize his thoughts before talking anything, not wanting to sound childish or selfish or anything of sorts ― he knows Hyunwoo wouldn’t ever take it that way, but Hoseok won’t feel in good terms with himself if he ends up saying something he’ll regret later.

“I don’t know, man.” Hoseok scratches the back of his neck before throwing his head back, lying on his friend’s arm and looking up at the ceiling. “I feel… Off, sometimes. Like I’m doing things wrong, you know? Like it’s not enough.”

His voice cracks a little at the end. Hoseok takes a moment to stop and take a deep breath, swallowing the lump in his throat. He knows Hyunwoo only likes to mess around with him when they’re _playing_ ― he knows Hyunwoo has absolutely no idea in how to deal with a crying mess of a person; _he_ was usually the one dealing with that kind of thing. He breathes in. Breathes out. Looks at Jooheon again.

“I remember how was growing up without my father, you know?” he runs a finger along the line of his son’s chin. The little boy instinctively comes closer, murmuring quietly and nuzzling against his hand. Hoseok smiles weakly at that. “I know my mom did all she could not to make me feel strange, a misfit or anything like that, but… I don’t know, hyung. Nine-year-old me didn’t understand why my classmates had two parents and I only lived with mom. Or why she had to work all the time. Or why we needed to keep looking at price tags on the market.”

“You’re afraid he’ll miss his mother?” Hyunwoo asks, very, very quietly.

Hoseok shakes his head.

“Kind of?” he chews on his lower lip. “I want to put him in school. When ― uh, when we can afford that. He needs contact with another children instead of hanging out with us all of the time. I know he doesn’t realize it yet, but ― he will.” Hoseok sighs, shoulders dropping. “I’m afraid I’m taking that away from him, hyung. And I’m afraid that, if I put him in school, he’ll start asking things I won’t know how to answer. I’m afraid that his classmates will be mean to him.”

Hyunwoo understands that enough not to ask anything. Hoseok’s kind of glad he doesn’t ― his vision is already blurry enough, his chest is heavy and breathing is starting to get a bit difficult.

“I don’t know what to do if he asks for his mother. I don’t know what to do if he doesn’t.” he swallows loudly, fingers trembling, holding Jooheon closer. “I don’t want him to get hurt and I’m afraid I’ll end up making him live in a bubble. I just ― _I don’t know,_ hyung, and that’s killing me.”

“Do you regret it?”

The question makes Hoseok lift his head up immediately, caught off guard by how emotionless it sounds. Hyunwoo’s watching him with attentive, careful eyes.

“Do you regret it?” the older points towards the little boy in his arms.

It takes a while for Hoseok to fully understand the question. When he does, it feels like a punch in the guts. He sends his best friend a betrayed look, hugging Jooheon more fiercely and basically scowling at him.

“What are you talking about?!” he covers his son’s ears, because the boy moves a bit, disturbed by the sudden loud noise. “Of course I don’t!”

Hyunwoo shakes his head, and pushes Hoseok closer again without that much of an effort.

“Stop worrying so much. Stop sounding like you _do_ regret it.” he points Jooheon once more. “See that boy? He loves you to death, Hoseok. You could tell him that the guy from the music store hung the moon and Jooheon would probably believe you without batting an eyelash _and_ fight anyone who tried to tell him otherwise. I’m not even kidding, man. You’re more than enough to him.”

If the older _was_ trying to make him cry, well, he _did_ succeed. Hoseok rubs his free hand against his eyes, taking a shaky breath to try and stop the tears.

“He wouldn’t trade you for anyone else.” Hyunwoo stares at him, features hard even though his eyes are warm. “Nor his mother, nor his biological father, none of this shit. And if he _does_ end up wanting to know them, that won’t make you any less of a father than you’ve been for the last two years; it won’t make you any less of a father than you’ll probably be for the next ten, twenty, hell, thirty years, the rest of your life.”

“But I’m almost always away from home.” Hoseok says, weakly, and the older’s face softens a bit. “I’m always working or trying to work or worrying about something else and he just… I wanted to be there for him, but I feel like can’t, because there’s always something on my way?”

It sounds more like a question than it does as an answer. Hoseok doesn’t care about it enough to try and reformulate the thought ― he’s having a hard time even without trying to make _sense_ at all.

“Did you miss your father so much, to the point of thinking that you’ll fuck up your son’s entire life if you’re not with him all the time?”

Hoseok looks away. Hyunwoo waits patiently, fingers once more gently caressing the younger’s scalp.

“I did.” Hoseok admits, in the end, after almost ten minutes of silence. “It was… Bad. I didn’t even get to know him and it was literal hell trying to pretend nothing was wrong just so mom wouldn’t worry. And I just ― I thought things would be easier if he was with us. Mom wouldn’t work herself sick. We wouldn’t need to keep looking at the price tags on the market. My classmates would’ve stopped mocking me. I would have someone with whom talk to when things got hard.”

Hyunwoo takes in a sharp breath. Hoseok ignores him, nuzzling against Jooheon’s hair, rocking him back and forth, slowly, too slowly.

“It’s not that mom wasn’t enough.” he tells. “I just ― I felt that way. She already had too much on her plate, and I didn’t want her to worry about something she could do nothing about. And I don’t ― I don’t want Jooheon to go through that, hyung.”

“He’s four.” Hyunwoo carefully pushes Hoseok’s face, so the younger’s forced to look at him. “He’s _four,_ did you hear that? _Four.”_

“He won’t stay four forever.” Hoseok sniffles. “I won’t always be the one who makes him think that the moon’s hanging just because a guy from the music store wanted to hang it.”

“You’re delusional.” Hyunwoo shakes his head in disbelief, immediately catching upon the fact that the younger’s trying to change the subject and effectively doing little to none effort to make him keep talking. Hoseok laughs weakly at that, giving him a small smile right after.

“Thank you.”

Hyunwoo frowns.

“For what?”

“For hearing me, uh, and hearing my rambling. And my worries. And all of that.”

“Nah.” the older shrugs. “You don’t need to thank me.” and then he thinks about something. “I mean. Kind of. I won’t complain if you want to give me ramen, though. Jooheon’s making propaganda of your ramen since, like, Monday.”

“No promises.” Hoseok bumps their shoulders slightly. “You’ll need to marry me first. I don’t do ramen unless we’re family-related under the law. The last time I checked, you’re just, like, my best friend of ten years. And the godfather of my son. Yeah. Not enough to cook you ramen yet.”

Hyunwoo gasps offendedly at that, going as far as putting a hand over his chest for dramatic effect. Jooheon mumbles something about unicorns and a flying butter. Hoseok smiles at them.

He kind of feels better now.

  


Hoseok has a hard time trying to sleep that night.

It doesn’t matter how much he tries to turn around, to nuzzle against Jooheon and close his eyes and let himself drift onto a peaceful slumber, he always ends up the same way: back against pillows, Jooheon over his chest, eyes focused on the ceiling, thinking about the talk with Hyunwoo over and over, replaying it inside his head.

Jooheon’s _four._ His baby boy is _four,_ and soon Hoseok will have no choice beside putting him into a school, letting him go and discover some things of life by himself. It’d be a good time to settle down, to give himself a break and find someone and build a family and give Jooheon a family as well ― _not broken, not missing someone, not giving his baby boy the chance of feeling upset for something he could have and didn’t._ Nothing would make him happier, but Hoseok’s scared.

He doesn’t have that much of a social circle, and he does basically nothing beside working, so the possibilities of knowing someone _new,_ of actually having _time_ to hang out with someone are pretty low. He doesn’t like drinking, and he doesn’t like partying ― not as much as he did before, at least ―, and he definitely doesn’t like the idea of bringing a _stranger_ into their lives like that.

If he dates and Jooheon approves the person and everything end well, wow, okay, points for the universe for not fucking up his hopes, but that’s _not how it works._ Hoseok knows that much.

If he ends up in a relationship where Jooheon doesn’t like his significant other, Hoseok won’t stay with that person, it doesn’t matter how he feels about them ― if it goes the other way around, and Jooheon gets attached, and things don’t end well… He doesn’t want to think about it. It’d break his baby boy’s heart, and the idea _physically pains_ him.

Hoseok doesn’t need that kind of thing, he decides. That’s why he can’t ― that’s why he _won’t_ ― date. Hoseok can’t take the risk of getting himself into any kind of relationship right now, because things are already hard enough without him adding any problem to the equation.

His family wasn’t complete, his father was missing, they went through hell to get where they are now, but they _did_ survive, didn’t they? And Jooheon loves him. And he loves Jooheon. And he has his mother, and Hyunwoo, and Minkyun, and Tao ― even _Yoosu,_ he’d bet, without even thinking twice. Hoseok doesn’t need anyone else.

 _Their family_ doesn’t need anyone else.

Jooheon will always be Hoseok’s first choice ― his priority above anything, above anyone.

_Always._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- SO, I need to make a note about that. I’d like for you all to know that I have, like, 0 knowledge about adoption. I’ve made a lot of research, ofc, but, specially about SK laws and everything, I didn’t find much besides the whole ‘international adoption’ thing. I don’t plan on going deeper about all the legal proceedings in adopting a kid, so, for fictional purposes, I’m just rolling with my ideas and trying to stick to something that sounds at least a bit coherent.
> 
> \- See that line of angst just around the corner? I DON’T.  
> Remember the drama/conflict thing? Yeah.  
> And also, Kihyun has a story too, so yay.
> 
> \- Have you ever met someone with bird eyes? It's scary af. Really.
> 
> See you next week! \O
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	4. Meet Jooheon, the little bee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, hELLO PEOPLE \O  
> I almost didn't update in time ಠ_ಠ because I'm traveling and I kind of forgot that I wouldn't have internet here lol so I'm using my phone's internet, and I'll try to answer everything ~~before my phone dies on me~~ as soon as possible ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ
> 
> Thank you everyone for all the support ಥ_ಥ  
> I hope you enjoy this! (◕‿◕)♡

Hoseok’s Friday passes as a blurr.

Tao comes to see how things are going ― he’s been really busy with his best friend’s wedding plans, so it’s kind of a surprise that he manages to find time to show up at all. Hoseok has a good time talking to him, updating him about everything and hearing him complain about how Kyungsoo has absolutely no idea what he’s doing and it’s making his life harder. Hoseok laughs. Tao complains a bit more, they talk about Jooheon a lot.

Hoseok doesn’t know exactly why, but every chance he gets to talk about his baby boy, he takes it and enjoys it like he’ll never get it again. Jooheon is his favorite subject to talk about ― how he’s doing, how overly excited he gets when he eats anything sugar-related, what’s his favorite flower and why (it’s cosmos ― because they’re Hoseok’s favorite flowers; who, in turn, only has them as ‘favorite ones’ because they’re  _ his mother’s _ favorite flowers). None of his friends seem to have minded so far; Hyunwoo understands him, Minkyun absolutely adores the little boy, Yoosu doesn’t really mind (as long as children are kept away from him, he’s okay with hearing about them), and Tao gets really animated about him, going as far as getting all dreamy and sharing wishes of his own.

“You need to bring him again.” he insists, though there’s a bit of plea in his voice. “I want to know him. And spoil him. Can I spoil him? I really want to spoil him.”

Sometimes, Hoseok  _ almost _ forgets that Tao is younger than him; the fact that the guy is his boss makes him constantly put aside that Tao’s  _ still _ his dongsaeng. But Hoseok knows that, when they’re talking about his son, there’s no such a thing as ‘boss’ ― they’re just two guys completely whipped for the same little boy, and he sees no problem in that.

“I will.” he promises, and chuckles at Tao’s small dance of victory. “You just need to tell me a good day.”

“Monday!” Tao immediately  _ screeches. _ Hoseok cringes a bit. “Or ― uh, yeah, Monday. It’s my free day. Is it okay? I can ―”

“Monday’s good.” Hoseok interrupts him before Tao can start rambling, shaking his head. “Really. Don’t worry. I’ll bring him.”

Tao smiles so widely that it’s a bit creepy. Hoseok smiles right back at him.

Nothing makes him happier than finding someone who clearly likes his son.

  
  


The first thing that Hoseok notices when he steps home is the familiar smell of his mother’s food and a faint giggle coming from the kitchen. He smiles quietly to himself, throwing his suitcase aside and easing the knot on his tie. Humming to himself while he walks towards the kitchen is easy, steps following the rhythm of the song, and, when he finally enters the room, he’s met with a usual ― but not for that less heart-warming ― scene of Friday night.

Jooheon’s sitting at the table, drawing, colorful crayons all around him, lips pressed together in a pout, tip of the tongue pressed against his lower lip and eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Hoseok’s mother is slicing onions on the sink, careful as always, and there’s something on the stove. Hoseok’s about to open his mouth to greet them when his son yawns lazily and looks up, probably to talk with his grandmother about something, and his eyes find his father on the doorstep.

“Appa!” he squeals, immediately dropping everything and sprinting towards the older. Hoseok barely has time to register his mother jumping in place, frightened by the sudden noise, before the little boy’s throwing himself at his legs, hugging them and almost making both of them fall backwards. “Appa’s home, halmeoni, appa’s home, appa’s home!”

Hoseok laughs at his mother’s surprised face when she turns around to look at them, and then catches his little boy and holds him close, humming happily when Jooheon immediately nuzzles against him, giggling and wrapping his arms around Hoseok’s neck.

“Hey, eomma.” he greets, approaching to press a soft kiss at the top of her head, and his mother cleans her hands on the apron before hugging him briefly, careful not to crush Jooheon between them. “How was your day? Did Jooheonie behave?”

“Jooheonie did!” Jooheon chirps, moving his arms excitedly. “Jooheonie gave halmeoni the drawing, too! And halmeoni promised to frame it!”

Hoseok chuckles. His mother shakes his head, a smile on her face, and pats the boy’s head gently. Jooheon holds her hand just to press a kiss against it, and Hoseok’s heart feels unbelievably warm inside his chest. He nuzzles against he boy’s neck, breathing deeply, and Jooheon frees his grandmother’s hand in favor of giggling, pushing him away.

_ “Appa!” _ he whines, wiggling out of Hoseok’s grasp in favor of giving him a pouty face. “No, no! It tickles!”

The older pouts back at him.

“But  _ Jooheonie!” _ he says, using the same tone. “Appa likes to see his little bee smiling!”

“Little bee doesn’t need tickling to smile!” Jooheon crosses his arms and shakes his head fiercely. “Little bee is a happy bee on his own!”

Hoseok’s mother laughs at her son’s dumbfounded expression. He looks at her, still awestruck, and points towards the little boy in his arms, who’s still shaking his head negatively.

“Did I do that when I was younger?”

“You were worse.” she smiles when he gasps dramatically.  _ “Way _ worse, darling.”

“I can’t believe that.”

Jooheon’s not content with being ignored. He pouts a bit more agressively and pokes his father’s cheek viciously.

“Appa, can you help me with my drawings? Halmeoni said she would but she’s busy now. And appa’s not busy. Does appa have work to do? Can appa spend time with me? Appa’s been working a lot. Jooheonie wants to play but if appa needs to work then Jooheonie can wait and ―”

Hoseok puts a finger over his son’s lips to make him stop.

“Woah, calm down there, little bee. Appa’s slow.”

Jooheon blinks. Looks at him. Looks at his hand. By the time Hoseok turns to his mother again, the little boy’s already chewing on his finger, tiny white teeth showing and all. Hoseok’s having a hard time trying not to laugh, but his mother has a fond smile on her face, eyes warm and inviting.

“Do you mind if I steal that noisy little bee for a while, eomma?”

She shakes her head negatively.

“Have fun.” and then she seems to think about something. “Oh, and don’t put him in pajamas yet. We’ll have guests for dinner.”

The advice ― and the news ― takes Hoseok by surprise.

“Is Hyunwoo coming over?”

That wouldn’t be uncommon of him; Hyunwoo likes to talk and make fun of him for it, but he’s as whipped for Jooheon as Hoseok, and constantly shows up on their house to spend time with the little boy. What  _ would _ be uncommon, however, was extending Jooheon’s sleep time because of it. Hoseok’s not a severe father, not in any sense, but there’s only one rule that he follows strictly: by ten, Jooheon needs to be  _ at least _ on bed ― preferably sleeping, but Hoseok’s not picky with that, because he knows that, sometimes, the little boy has a bit of a hard time falling asleep.

It doesn’t explain the ‘no pajamas’ thing, though.

“No.” his mother shakes her head slightly, leaving him even more confused. “Jooheonie asked to invite your neighbours to dinner, I didn’t see why not.” and, noticing her son’s surprised features, she quickly adds: “Is that a problem?”

“Pwince Gumgall, ‘ppa!” Jooheon stops chewing on his finger, lifting his head up so fast that he almost hits Hoseok’s chin on his way. “Prince Gumball comes to dinner!”

The older chuckles a bit, because his son’s excitement is the cutest thing he’s ever  _ seen. _ He gives his mother a small smile.

“No, no, it’s okay.” he shakes his head. “It just caught me by surprise.”

“Okay, then.” she pats Jooheon’s head gently. The boy gives her one of his best smiles. “Now, get this little one that bath, will you?”

“Bath time! Bath time, appa, bath time!”

Hoseok laughs a bit.

“I think that this is answer enough.”

His mother chuckles at that, shaking her head in light disbelief. Hoseok feels warm, and happy, and at home. Jooheon’s still smiling.

  
  


In the end, Jooheon convinces him to wear matching shirts ― the ones Hoseok bought a few months ago, yellow and blue with drawings from Adventure Time. It’s not his fault that his little bee is even cuter when he wears yellow; and Hoseok just doesn’t have the will to deny the boy something so simple like that. Even if it means that his mother will look at them with a slightly arched eyebrow, judging them a bit, and he’ll blush like crazy.

Oh, well. Not his fault ― not entirely, at least. (He knows that she said she would and she  _ will _ frame the drawing Jooheon gave her. She’s in no position to judge him for anything.)

“Appa.” Jooheon calls, clinging onto him like a baby koala, fingers wrapped around Hoseok’s hair, pushing slightly. “Do you think Prince Gumball will come?”

“I don’t know, little bee.” he pats the boy’s back gently, leaning against the kitchen counter and watching his mother attentively. “Do you need any help, eomma?”

She shakes her head negatively, finishing her task with the food and searching for the plates.

“Absolutely no.” she refuses. “I have everything under control.”

She does. He knows she does.

“Are you sure?”

She stops. Turns over to look at him. Puts her hands on her hips.

“Darling, do you want something?” she arches an eyebrow. “You only started helping me with dinner without asking for things after you were fourteen.”

_ “Eomma!” _

She laughs at his half-protest, half-whine, dismissing him with a movement of her hand.

“Go watch something with Jooheonie, I can take care of the rest.”

Hoseok smiles and nods, wrapping his arms more tightly around the little boy and starting to walk towards the living room. Only then he notices that his son’s unusually quiet, tiny fingers playing with the collar of the older’s shirt. Hoseok blinks in confusion, staring at him for a while.

“Little bee?”

Jooheon pouts, but doesn’t look up to answer him. His father immediately knows that something’s going on.

“Baby bee, hey.” Hoseok gently lifts his chin, so the boy’s staring at him instead of staring at his shirt. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Jooheon still watches him in silence for a moment, pouting a bit more and furrowing his eyebrows together. Hoseok rubs his back soothingly, worried.

“What’s up, Heonbee?” he asks again, very gently.

The little boy lifts his hand up to rub the space between his father’s eyebrows, trying to make him stop frowning. Hoseok stops immediately, and Jooheon’s features soften in a pleased smile, all traces of upsetness leaving his face when he pats the older’s cheeks softly.

“Jooheonie’s being silly.” Jooheon shakes his head. “Don’t worry, appa.”

Hoseok nuzzles against his hair, pressing a kiss onto the dark locks.

“Jooheonie’s not being silly.” he argues, and the little boy giggles when he presses a sloppy kiss against his cheek. “If Jooheonie’s upset, he needs to tell appa, okay?”

“Jooheonie’s not upset.” Jooheon shakes his head vigorously, and then stops, staring at his father and blinking. “Jooheonie wants to draw.”

Hoseok opens his mouth to answer they’ll draw all his baby boy wants, but the doorbell rings and interrupts him. Jooheon immediately starts wiggling on his arms, excitedly saying something along the lines of  _ ‘Prince came!’ _ and  _ ‘Gumball home!’ _ that Hoseok  _ supposes _ it would make sense if the boy wasn’t so animated with their guests.

“Down, appa, down, down, down! Put Jooheonie down, please!”

Hoseok chuckles, but does as he’s being asked to. Jooheon grabs his hand and pushes him towards the door, smiling so hard that his eyes are basically  _ closed. _ Hoseok can’t help but smile, following him and trying not to trip over the boy’s feet, laughing when Jooheon stops in front of the door just to turn around and stare at him expectantly.

“Behave, okay? We don’t want to scare them off.”

“Jooheonie will!” the little boy nods enthusiastically. “Pinky promise!”

Hoseok knows he would even without promising anything ― though the boy gets overly excited easily, it’s not really  _ hard _ to deal with him like that ―, but it never costs to be sure. He hums, satisfied, before opening the door to greet the neighbours.

“Welcome ―”

_ “Prince Gumball!” _

Jooheon’s screech interrupts him mid-phrase. Hoseok watches, in stunned silence, as his little boy latches onto the legs of the first person he sees. He blinks. Watches his son giggling and repeating ‘Prince Gumball!’ as his life depends on it. Stays in silence for a while. Then, looks up, staring at both Kihyun and Changkyun.

The pink-haired guy has a lost look on his face, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. His brother’s holding a glass recipient filled with something colorful, watching the little boy with an amused smile. He bumps his shoulder against Kihyun’s, and, though Hoseok didn’t have a brother ― or sister, for all that matters ― growing up, he’s sure that there’s a bit of teasing laced onto the guy’s voice when he talks.

“I told you he’d do that!” and then Changkyun turns to Hoseok, bowing his head slightly. “Good afternoon, hyung.”

“Good afternoon, Changkyun, Kihyun.” Hoseok steps aside, leaving room for them to ender. “Come in.”

Changkyun mumbles a quiet  _ ‘excuse me’ _ before entering, but Kihyun’s still trapped with a smiley boy attached to his legs. He clears his throat and gently pats Jooheon’s head, murmuring a greeting to him before looking at Hoseok and giving him a somewhat awkward smile. Hoseok recognizes his  _ ‘I don’t know what’s going on, somebody help me, please’ _ face ― he’s seen it before, almost every time Jooheon meets someone for the first time and decides to cling onto that person as if his life depends on it.

“Uh, hey. Good afternoon.”

Hoseok chuckles, approaching and wrapping his arms around Jooheon’s middle and softly dettaching him from the guy. Jooheon doesn’t even blink, smiling so hard his eyes are completely closed, hands still extended towards Kihyun.

“He came, appa, he came!” the little boy giggles excitedly, turning to his father, wrapping his arms around the older’s shoulders and hugging him tightly. “Prince Gumball came!”

Kihyun’s body relaxes a bit, his lips turning upwards the slightest bit, and Hoseok lifts Jooheon up to get out of the way. Kihyun bows briefly and enters, muttering  _ ‘excuse me’ _ while slipping off his shoes and leaving them aside. Hoseok carries a smiley Jooheon inside and closes the door just as his mother shows up, greeting the neighbours.

“Appa.” Jooheon gently taps his chin, trying to call his attention. “Can I show Prince Gumball my toys? And plushies? I want to show him my plushies. I want to show him Jake! Jake’s fluffy and warm and he’s almost as pink as Prince Gumball’s hair!”

Jake ― the dog plush ―  _ isn’t _ pink. Or, well, at least it  _ wasn’t, _ until an incident involving the washing machine and a bunch of red clothes did that to the poor thing, and Hoseok’s lucky Jooheon didn’t mind that much when it happened, or then he’d be screwed. He watches his mother exchanging a small talk with the neighbours and carrying them to the kitchen and chuckles, ruffling the little boy’s hair.

“After dinner, okay, Heonbee?”

Jooheon nods animatedly.

Something tells Hoseok that, by the end of the dinner, Jooheon won’t even  _ remember _ that. He smiles.

  
  


The dinner goes smoothly ― mostly because Hoseok’s mother is good at small talk and doesn’t ever let the awkwardness get the better of them, but partly because Jooheon’s quite a distraction, loud and talkative and,  _ honestly, does this little boy ever stop? _ Hoseok doesn’t remember seeing him this excited since his son met Hyunwoo.

To someone who until a few days ago was still scared of Changkyun, the little boy’s quite comfortable at bombing both him and Kihyun with questions.

“And why do you live in Mrs. Lee’s house, hyung? Did she lend it for you?”

“Uh ― we kind of bought it?”

“Why did you kill the flowers? I liked them. Mrs. Lee let me take a few for appa and halmeoni, sometimes.”

“Jooheonie.” Hoseok nudges him gently, making sure to use a warning tone, because he  _ did _ teach him better than that. Hoseok doesn’t mind that Jooheon’s nosy and honest and has absolutely no fear of talking what goes through his mind, but he  _ does _ mind when his son sounds rude, even when that’s not his intent. “You’re being disrespectful.”

The little boy immediately abandons everything he was doing in favor of bowing to his hyungs, shrinking a bit, blush creeping from his neck to his ears and cheeks.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t ―” Kihyun elbows his brother to make him shut up. Changkyun yelps and stops, giving the older a confused stare. Kihyun furrows his eyebrows and nods towards Hoseok, as if saying he should listen to the other instead of saying whatever it comes to his mind first. The older appreciates the gesture. “Oh. Uh ― okay. Okay. Uh, thanks. I guess.”

Hoseok can swear he still hears him mumbling something like  _ ‘but we didn’t kill anything’ _ and  _ ‘well, at least,  _ I _ didn’t’, _ but he decides to ignore it and focus on Jooheon once more. He ruffles his son’s hair gently.

“Didn’t you have something more to tell, little bee?”

Jooheon blinks, lifting his head up to give his father a confused look.

“Did I?” he thinks for a moment, and, when he remembers, his whole face lights up. “Oh! Halmeoni and I did hwajeon, appa, halmeoni and I did hwajeon!” and he turns to tug softly at Kihyun’s sleeves. “Do you like hwajeon, Prince Gumball? And your brother? Does he like hwajeon? Halmeoni and I did it! Jooheonie likes hwajeon a lot.”

Hoseok chuckles. Kihyun gives the little boy a gentle smile, ruffling his hair affectionately. Hoseok’s mother watches them with a satisfied smile on her face.

“Yes, Jooheon, we do like hwajeon.”

“Yay!” the kid celebrates, his smile so bright and big that Hoseok’s sure the little boy’s cheeks will be sore after that encounter. “We can eat after dinner. Appa says eating sweets before dinner is not good. And we still need to eat halmeoni’s dak galbi. Halmeoni’s food is the best food in the world. And then comes appa’s food. And samchon’s food. Do you cook, Prince Gumball? Jooheonie doesn’t cook. Yet.”

Hoseok doesn’t blame Kihyun for seeming  _ a lot _ out of place and absolutely lost with all the talking and the questions and Jooheon’s excitement in general ― he kind of appreciates the fact that the guy and his brother are at least trying to keep up with his son.

“Does Jooheonie plan on cooking?” Changkyun’s lips turn upwards when he makes the question, eyes glowing a bit with a musement.

“Jooheonie does!” Jooheon nods enthusiastically.

“And what will Joohoenie cook?”

The little boy stops. Thinks a bit. His face brightens and he holds up a hand, waving a bit, as if saying he got an amazing idea. Changkyun hums for him to say it out loud.

“Jooheonie’ll cook hwajeon the entire day!”

Hoseok’s not the only one to full-on laugh at that.

 

In the end, Hoseok’s mother shoos them away for the living room, insisting to stay and clean up by herself with the excuse that her son needs to ‘socialize more’ and something like that ― and, as Hoseok has no intent on being scolded, he obeys with a bow and the promise of helping her with the cafe the next time he goes there.

Both Kihyun and Changkyun seem a bit out of place, but Jooheon’s holding them by their hands and dragging them along to sit on the carpet, and Hoseok guesses there’s no way of denying a kid something so simple as to stay at their side for a while, just for a bit more of time. So, he smiles and plays along, ignoring the small, insistend tug of jealousy on his chest ― because it doesn’t hurt, it won’t cost anything, because it’ll make his little bee happy and he’d do anything for that boy.

“... And Jooheonie did you a drawing!”

The sentence calls his attention to what his son’s saying, and Hoseok watches quietly, a bit confused, as Jooheon urges the guests to sit on the carpet, waving like crazy. He’s even more confused when the little boy turns to him and furrows his eyebrows together, almost frowning.

“Appa, appa, sit with them! Jooheonie will get the drawing!”

And, honestly, who’s him to deny him that? Hoseok nods and approaches the trio, sitting in front of Kihyun, a bit far so the little boy can pass through them and run to the kitchen, probably to ask Hoseok’s mother for whatever he did. Hoseok keeps looking at the door for a few seconds even after his son’s gone before turning to their neighbours.

“He can be a bit too much sometimes.” he kind of apologies, giving them a brief smile.

Kihyun tries a small smile in return. Changkyun only shrugs.

“Nah, don’t worry.” he nudges Kihyun. “Hyung’s always being extra, so, it’s not that much of a deal.”

Hoseok supresses a laugh when the pink-haired guy shoves his brother aside, muttering  _ ‘you’re such an ungrateful brat!’ _ with a frown. He doesn’t have time to comment on it, though, because Jooheon comes back, tiny feet making the tap-tap sound on the wooden floor as he approaches, pratically  _ beaming. _

“Appa, Prince Gumball, hyung, look!” he waits until they’re all turned to him and then ―  _ only then _ ― holds the paper proudly against his chest, showing it.

The drawing’s simple, but it passes de message just right. Kihyun’s the pink blotch with small eyes and a crescent moon smile, there are a lot of red flowers all over the paper, and Jooheon even added Changkyun to the picture ― or, at least, Hoseok  _ supposes _ it’s Changkyun, by the immense glasses the other stick doll’s using and the orange on it’s head. There’s a square in the center, with a messy handwritten ‘welcome’ in capital letters ― held by the tiniest bee Hoseok’s ever  _ seen _ and what he thinks it’s the sun, even though it’s designed with different shades of blue ―, and the little boy’s father finds himself smiling hard at that.

“Halmeoni helped me with the letters.” Jooheon explains, pointing even more proudly at the square. “And the flowers. Jooheonie didn’t know how to draw them, so halmeoni helped too.”

Kihyun swallows so loudly even Hoseok can hear him. He gives the guy a worried glance ― not knowing exactly what this reaction means ―, but Kihyun’s solely focused on the little boy in front of him. Changkyun’s not so different; even though he’s quiet, his eyes never leave neither the kid nor the drawing.

“That’s ― that’s pretty cool, Jooheon.” Kihyun gives the little boy a small, soft smile, before tilting his head slightly to the side. “Am I the pink one?”

“Yep!” the younger nods enthusiastically, apparently satisfied to receive a praise and the interest of the other. “And Changkyun hyung’s the one with glasses. And appa and I are there, too!”

Kihyun seems a bit confused at that. He blinks, looks at the drawing. Blinks again, looks at Jooheon. Hoseok gets it really fast, and his heart makes a funny thing inside his ribcage.

“Are you?”

“Uhum!” Jooheon points at the sun. “Meet appa, the blue sun!” then, he points at the bee. “Meet Jooheonie, the little bee!” and, finally, Jooheon points at the square. “Appa and Jooheonie are holding the letters because appa and Jooheonie are welcoming Prince Gumball and his brother because Jooheonie is really happy because ―”

“Little bee.” Hoseok gently taps his shoulder to make him stop rambling; Jooheon only starts talking like that when he’s really excited or when he’s really nervous, and, in this case, the older knows it’s the latter. “Calm down a bit, you still need to breath.”

Jooheon makes an  _ ‘uhm!’ _ sound, pushing the air through his mouth and pressing his lips together, cheeks rosy and full. Kihyun chuckles briefly at that. The sound’s a bit choked. Jooheon looks at his father, then at Kihyun, then at his father again. He blows the air out of his cheeks.

“Is Prince Gumball sad, appa?” he asks childishly, voice laced with worry. “Why is Prince Gumball sad?”

Hoseok has absolutely no idea. Changkyun comes to his rescue, kneeling next to his brother and nudging him slightly while talking to the kid.

“Kihyun’s not sad, Jooheonie.” he gives the boy a warm smile. “Kihyun’s just silly. Did you know that he draws, too?”

Jooheon’s eyes widen at that.

“Prince Gumball draws?!”

The high-pitched squeal is so loud that even Changkyun cringes a bit. Kihyun gives his brother a deathly glare.

“Actually ―”

“He does!” Changkyun interrupts the older with a wink. “He also paints. And, oh, he’s currently working on ―”

“Ok, ok, enough!” Kihyun puts a hand over his brother’s mouth, effectively silencing him. He still gives the other an angry stare before turning to Jooheon, features softening. “I ―”

“Can Prince Gumball make a drawing for me?”

There’s a moment of silence. Kihyun blinks. Hoseok watches them with an amused smile. Changkyun bites his brother’s hand ― who, for a moment, seems like he’s about to curse, but then glances at Jooheon and mutters something along the lines of  _ ‘you’re lucky he’s here’ _ to the other. Changkyun winks again.

“Uh ― I ―” Kihyun scratches the back of his neck a bit nervously, looking at the kid that stares at him with expectant eyes. “I think ― okay. I think I can do that.”

Jooheon makes a small dance of victory. Hoseok chuckles and pats his head gently. The little boy gives him an immense smile before pushing his own drawing towards Kihyun’s hands. The other thanks him and picks the paper carefully, as if it’s something precious, before turning his eyes back to the boy.

“What do you want me to draw, little guy?”

Hoseok would bet a dog. Or a cat. Maybe even the ‘Prince Gumball’ character. There are a lot of things his son likes, a lot of things he could ask for. What comes out of Jooheon’s mouth, however, takes him by surprise.

“Appa!”

The three adults exchange confused glances for a moment. Hoseok takes the lead to that, softly running his fingers through his son’s hair.

“Appa, baby bee?” he asks, and Jooheon hums in agreement, nuzzling against his hand. “What do you mean?”

“I want a drawing of appa!”

“But ― why?” noticing how the question may sound to the little boy, Hoseok’s quick to add: “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that, but ― you see appa every day. Why do you want a drawing of appa?”

Jooheon looks at him confusedly for a moment, then tilts his head to the side, shrugging a bit. Changkyun and Kihyun watch them in silence.

“Jooheonie sees appa every day, but appa’s not always home! Appa needs to work and go out and do grocery shopping!” the little boy waves a bit. “And if Jooheonie has a drawing of appa, then Jooheonie can have appa all the time, and Jooheonie won’t miss appa so much! Jooheonie will carry appa everywhere!”

Hoseok’s whole world stops at that.  _ It stops. _

“Oh.” he says.  _ “Oh.” _

He wraps his arms around the little boy and pushes him closer, hiding his face against Jooheon’s hair and closing his eyes fiercely. He won’t cry. He won’t cry.  _ He won’t cry. _ He breathes in, hugging the boy tightly, breathes out, sniffles a bit.

Kihyun’s rigid as a stone. Changkyun watches them with wary eyes.

“Appa?” Jooheon’s voice is small against his chest.

Hoseok hums to show him he’s hearing.

“You’re crushing me.”

He can’t help but laugh, easing the hug a bit so the little boy can move more freely on his arms. Kihyun’s shoulders relax immediately. Changkyun gives them a small smile. Hoseok hums again and presses a sloppy kiss against his son’s cheek.

“Eew.” Jooheon rubs his tiny fist over the same spot, but his father can tell with 100% of sure the complain’s just half-hearted. “Why does appa keep doing that?”

“Because appa loves his baby bee a lot, that’s why.”

Jooheon makes an  _ ‘Oooh’ _ sound, mouth opening a bit, showing his dimples. Hoseok doesn’t try to resist the urge to playfully bite his cheeks. The little boy giggles and pushes him away, complaining more loudly this time. He wiggles his way out of his father’s arms to hide behind Kihyun, tiny hands fast to latch onto the guy’s sleeves, squealing.

Kihyun laughs discreetely at Jooheon’s excitement. Changkyun has an amused look on his face.

_ That’s it, _ Hoseok thinks, lips turning upwards in a bright smile.  _ That’s my little bee. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¹Hwajeon is, like, a pancake/cake with flower petals? It’s really cute. It seems awfully good. I want to eat that one day. You can see it [here](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5a/66/92/5a6692d0d6ee77c0de0cca873020ad9c.jpg), [here](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/81/eb/de/81ebde6de4a823cea987208120add29c.jpg) and [here](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/d1pntG0G8VI/maxresdefault.jpg).
> 
> ²If anyone’s wondering, the colorful thing both Kihyun and Changkyun gave them, it’s called [gwapyeon](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/98/f7/2d/98f72d76167018500fd2c7a9f181f1be.jpg). Wikipedia tells me you just need to boil fruits, starch and sugar ‘til it gets a jelly consistence and vOILA.
> 
> ³Dak galbi is ~insert-here-a-lot-of-things-like-onion-and-sweet-potatoes~ ft. chicken. I have no idea if it’s good or not. Wikipedia only tells me it’s relatively cheap.
> 
> Also, no, I don’t have a life. I keep searching google for Korean foods because I highkey wANT TO TRY THEM ALL, FIGHT ME
> 
>  
> 
> \- Once my niece did a drawing of a whale for me. It had immense eyes and jelly traces. I highkey thought it was a mutant half carrot half ghost. I was lowkey ashamed of myself. ~~I still think it’s a mutant~~
> 
> \- I looked at a lot of ‘etiquette tips’ for South Korea and all, but I’m still a bit lost about how this dinner would run. I know that the eldest should be the first to start eating? And that it’s kind of disrespectful to refuse food if the person’s holding it to you, so you should take it even if it’s on their hand. But I have no idea how the ‘neighbour policy’ (is that even a thing??) works, and if what I did was ok or the weirdest thing ever (if so, then I’m sooorry D:) ~~hAHA somebody hit me please~~
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	5. Storytelling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came home earlier because today's my godfather's birthday, so YAAAY, hello to anyone out there (」°ロ°)」  
> I hope you like today's chapter o3o
> 
> ALSO I HAVE GOOD NEWS. I'm far more ahead in the story than I thought I'd get, SO, I'll make the updates twice a week.  
> YAS. YAY. THANKS FOR THE NONY WHO GAVE THE IDEA ON MY CC (◕‿◕)♡  
> It'll probably be on Wednesday. I like how it sounds much more than I like the day itself.  
> so, yAY, new chapters every Sunday and Wednesday! ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ
> 
> And that's it for today \o3o/  
> See you Wednesday! :D

If Hoseok thought things were rushed before, the next weeks are even worse.

First, Minkyun’s still with his arm casted and, though he can do a bit of work here and there, too much time in front of a computer or trying to write down things give him pain ― so, his coworkers try and help him with what they can, and some (like Hoseok himself) go as far as taking his work for themselves to avoid letting him do anything. Minkyun complains and whines and tells everyone that he can do his work just fine, but they know he’s grateful for it.

That, by itself, is enough for Hoseok to have even more paperwork to take care of. He’s used to have most of his work done by the time he can leave, so he’ll have more time with Jooheon later, but, with Minkyun’s things added to that, he starts working at home too. Hoseok tries not to make it that much of a big deal, tries not to let it tire him.

It works on the first days ― and then Seokwon falls sick, and everything turns into an absolute hell.

“You’re an angel, Hoseok, damnit.” Tao curses under his breath, carrying two boxes that, definitely, are  _ way _ more weight than he’s used to carry around. Hoseok would help him with it, if he wasn’t so busy with his own share of boxes. “What would I do without you, man?”

“You’d be wailing in despair and chaos.” he plays, giving his boss a tired smile, and Tao pulls a face.

“The worst part is that I can’t even deny it!”

Yoosu groans somewhere behind them, urging them to stop talking and keep working, and Hoseok chuckles when Tao complains to himself something along the lines of  _ ‘damn, and I thought  _ I _ was a workaholic’. _ They’ve been carrying those boxes ― full of their last client’s furniture ― around for a while by now, trying not to break anything and being as careful as possible, under the worried gaze of Minkyun, who’s tasked with writing down what’s still missing and what already came.

Hoseok doesn’t do the ‘camp work’ ― he’s better at dealing with numbers and plannings than dealing with decoration things, anyway ―, but he knows that this is not something usual just by how tense Tao is, shoulders rigid and eyes wandering around carefully. They  _ do, _ of course, keep furniture for their clients here and there, when said people are busy working on house building and everything and there’s no place to put the things, but not like  _ that. _

Or they’re dealing with someone important, or Tao finally got the chance to show his skills to the world ― and Hoseok’s not entirely sure what would be more worrisome. Right now, the last thing they need is something more to go wrong and mess things up.

“I’ll promote you.”

Hoseok looks up from the pile of box to which he just added three more, surprised at how Tao sounds. His boss is looking at him, red and panting from all the work, but he seems pretty serious about what he just said.

“Excuse me, what?”

“I’ll promote you.” Tao says, and shakes his head briefly, crossing his arms. “Honestly, Hoseok, I  _ would _ be wailing in despair and chaos if it wasn’t for your hard work.”

“But ―” the older frowns a bit. “But I’m not the only one doing that.”

Hoseok’s not trying to be humble or anything of sorts. He  _ knows _ he does a lot of work ― more than it’s delegated to him, sometimes (almost all of it, if he’s being honest) ―, but he’s not the only one. Minkyun, Yoosu, Seokwon, all of them work their asses of to make everything turn out okay in the end. It’d be unfair of him to take credit for all of it.

Tao rolls his eyes.

“Damnit, man, accept a compliment once in a while, will you?” he shakes his head more fiercely. “I’ll promote you. End of the talk.”

Hoseok scratches the back of his head, a bit uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to admit how hopeful the news make him feel ― because promotions often mean more work to do, and he refuses to get hopeful at that. Sure, maybe he won’t need to do so much once all the crazyness of not having two members of their small group of workers is over, maybe he’ll be able to do savings more often and gather up enough money to put Jooheon in a school or…

Damn. Ok. He  _ is _ happy with the possibility of being promoted.

“Okay.” he says, and then: “Okay. Thanks.”

Before Tao can answer him ― or say anything in general ―, Yoosu gets fed up with them, calling from outside:

“Are you two going to keep gossiping or will you help me?!”

Tao’s eyes widen a bit when he looks at the door, surprised at how pissed off the other sounds.

“Is he always like that?”

Hoseok laughs and pats his shoulder friendly.

“You didn’t see anything yet, buddy, you didn’t see anything yet.”

  
  


Having minus two coworkers on the small agency not only means more work to do, but also equals to less time to spend with Jooheon in general. Hoseok thinks he  _ shouldn’t _ make that sound too much of a big deal ― because it’s  _ temporary, _ not some immutable condition he’ll have to live with ―, but, to him, it  _ is. _

Also, Jooheon doesn’t let him forget it.

“Jooheonie, appa needs to work.” he pleads, maybe for the millionth time just that morning, but Jooheon doesn’t let go off him.

“Appa’s been working a lot.” the little boy shakes his head, arms firmly wrapped around the older’s neck. “Jooheonie also wants time with appa. Tell Minkyun hyung Jooheonie doesn’t like him stealing Jooheonie’s appa.”

Hoseok gives Hyunwoo a pleading look. The older shrugs, not knowing what to do. Jooheon’s not usually  _ that _ clingy, not when he knows his father has other things to do ― not when he knows his father needs to go to work ―, so they’re always lost when he decides he doesn’t want Hoseok to go out for a day.

“Little bee, Minkyun’s not stealing me.” he rubs the little boy’s back. “Appa will be late if his little bee doesn’t let him go soon.”

Jooheon mumbles something incoherent against his father’s collarbones, but he’s not struggling, so Hoseok guesses that’s a good sign. He mouths a  _ ‘get him, please’ _ to his best friend, gently detaching his son’s tiny fingers from his suit, careful not to hurt him.

Hyunwoo approaches, and Jooheon  _ does _ let go off his father, but, upon his baby bee’s pouty face, quivering lips and watery eyes, Hoseok really wishes he didn’t. He opens his mouth immediately, ready to say he’s sorry, but Jooheon’s already hiding against his godfather’s chest, small hands tightening their hold onto Hyunwoo’s shirt, and the older gives Hoseok an apologizing look.

“Jooheonie, please.” Hoseok tries caressing his son’s hair, but Jooheon shrinks under his touch, and he recoils immediately. “Appa’s sorry.”

“Baby boy.” Hyunwoo tries rocking him back and forth, gently running his hand on circles over the kid’s back, his tone careful, warm. “C’mon, baby boy, don’t be like that.”

Jooheon sniffles. Both Hoseok and Hyunwoo  _ freeze _ on spot.

“Will appa come back before dinner?”

His voice is so small, so fragile, there’s a pang of guilt on Hoseok’s heart.

“Of course, baby bee.” he approaches, carefully wrapping his arms around Hyunwoo, engulfing both him and his son into a hug and nuzzling against the boy’s back. “Pinky promise, okay?”

“Appa never breaks his promises.” Jooheon states, very quietly, almost as if testing the waters, trying to see if his father will back down on what he just said.

He won’t. He  _ can’t. _

“Appa won’t ever break his promises.” Hoseok presses a sweet, delicate kiss against the back of the boy’s neck.

Jooheon wiggles out of his hold and giggles a bit. Hyunwoo immediately relaxes, and Hoseok feels as if the world’s been taken out of his shoulders. He takes a step back just so the little boy can turn to give him a small smile and make grabby hands at him. Hoseok leans in, and Jooheon holds his face carefully, pressing a long, sloppy kiss on each one of his cheeks ― all the while with his lips turned upwards in a small, warm smile.

“See you later, appa.”

Hoseok breathes out a sigh of relief.

“See you later, baby bee.” and he turns to his best friend. “See you later, hyung.”

“See you later.”

Hyunwoo’s eyes hold a warning: if Hoseok doesn’t show up before dinner time, they’ll sit and have a  _ serious _ talk about what’s going on. Hoseok nods in acknowledgement, because he knows that this is important not only to both of them, but to his son as well, and he doesn’t want that to ever change.

He won’t ever disappoint his baby boy, or let him down, or anything of sorts.

_ Ever. _

 

Hoseok  _ does _ come home before dinner ― Monday, Tuesday.

He doesn’t manage to keep the streak for too long.

  
  


“Hyung, you think you can stay for a bit more?”

He looks up from the paperwork he was just finishing ― organizing the financial schedule for the agency, making the sum for Mr. Wu’s house project ― and finds Yoosu leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed, frowning slightly.

Worry immediately settles at the bottom of Hoseok’s heart.

“Is everything okay?”

“Uh.” Yoosu rubs the back of his neck nervously. “I think not.” and, before the older can ask him what’s going on, the other quickly adds: “I can’t find that expensive painting we received Tuesday. Minkyun’s panicking on the packing room and Tao didn’t come back yet.”

That ‘expensive painting’  _ is _ really expensive. Hoseok’s eyes widen.

“What?” he immediately abandons everything in favor of standing. “Did you check  _ everything?” _

Yoosu’s probably more nervous than he’d like to admit. He’s  _ sweating, _ lips pale, eyes a bit wide.

“I did.” he says. “I don’t know. I can’t find it.”

Hoseok runs a hand through his hair and looks at the clock. Almost six pm. If he stays here, he’ll be late to get the bus ― and, therefore, he’ll be late to dinner. He doesn’t want to be late to dinner. He doesn’t want to stay at work for more time than strictly necessary. But he also can’t let Yoosu and Minkyun alone to deal with that.

“Damn.” he curses, and fumbles with his pockets, searching for his phone. “Go there and help Minkyun to calm down. I’ll just make a call.”

Yoosu takes a deep breath, shoulders relaxing ― almost as if he thought the older would let both of them  _ alone _ to deal with the problem ― and nods, stepping back and leaving. Hoseok closes his eyes for a moment and considers not calling at all ― because then Hyunwoo will  _ certainly _ scold him for that. But then he thinks of Jooheon, childishly sit on the edge of the couch, swinging his legs back and forth, eyes switching from the TV to the door after every minute or so, waiting for him to get back home just like he was doing the days before.

He curses again, and dials his best friend’s number.

“Hello? Hyunwoo, I ―”

_ “Appa?” _

He stops. Blinks in surprise.

“Jooheon?”

_ “Hey, appa!” _ the little boy’s voice gets higher even through the phone, and Hoseok needs to get it a bit away from his ear.  _ “I didn’t know you’d call! Why are you calling, appa?” _

“Uh ―” Hoseok clears his throat. “Appa ― needs to talk with Hyunwoo. Where is he, Heonbee?”

Jooheon makes an  _ ‘Oooh’ _ , and, at distance, his father can hear something that distinctively sounds like  _ ‘baby boy? what are you doing?’. _ Jooheon barely registers it. Hoseok  _ shouldn’t, _ but he finds himself smiling at that.

“Baby bee?” he calls, and Jooheon hums to show he’s hearing him. “Can you call Hyunwoo for me?”

_ “Samchon’s cooking, appa.” _ Jooheon hums along to some children’s song playing on the background.  _ “So we’ll have dinner ready by the time appa gets home! Samchon’s making ramen. Jooheonie said it wont’ be like appa’s, but samchon insisted, so Jooheonie’s waiting because Jooheonie knows it’ll be awesome anyway. Samchon let Jooheonie play with his phone while he cooks! Samchon’s phone has a lot of funny games, Jooheonie will show appa when appa gets home. When will appa come home?” _

Hoseok’s smile fades at that. He looks at the clock hanging on the wall. Looks at the door. Thinks about Yoosu waiting for him with Minkyun on the packing room ― and about his son, waiting for him at home. He swallows dry and clears his throat.

“Uh… Baby bee.” the little boy makes an  _ ‘Uh?’ _ sound. Hoseok’s chest feels too heavy. “Appa will be a bit late today.”

_ “Oh.” _ Jooheon stops for a moment.  _ “Won’t appa come for dinner, then?” _

Hoseok can’t tell if his little boy’s disappointed or not ― and that makes him uneasy. He bites the inside of his cheek, worry tugging at his heart like a vicious snake.

“I think not, baby bee.” he admits. “There was ― uh, a problem in work. Appa will need to stay a bit more.”

Jooheon keeps quiet for so long that Hoseok almost thinks he ended the call ― but then, again, he still can hear his little boy’s breathing, so he knows Jooheon didn’t do that.

“Uh ― baby bee? Are you there yet?”

_ “Minkyun hyung’s stealing you from me.” _ Jooheon complains, childish.  _ “I don’t like that, appa. Tell him he’s making Jooheonie upset. Jooheonie’s upset. When will appa come home?” _

It’s the way he ends it, almost whiny, voice breaking a little, that makes Hoseok’s heart ache inside his chest.

“Don’t be upset, baby bee.” he pleads. “Appa will get back home as soon as possible, okay? Appa will finish work and run to his little bee as fast as he can.”

_ “But little bee wants appa now.” _ Jooheon whines.  _ “Why can’t appa come home now?” _

“Appa needs to finish his work, Heonbee.” Hoseok sighs and runs a hand through his hair, head aching, heart heavy inside his chest, pained for what he’s being pratically forced to do. “Can you call Hyunwoo for me, please?”

Jooheon mumbles something unintelligible, and Hoseok hears him shouting for Hyunwoo. Hoseok waits until he can hear his best friend’s voice on the other side of the line before saying anything more, afraid that it’ll leave his little boy even more upset.

_ “Uh, hello? What’s up?” _

“Hyunwoo?” Hoseok doesn’t wait for him to respond. “Cuddle Jooheonie for me and tell him appa’s sorry.”

_ “What?” _ the older’s voice is confused.  _ “Why? What did you do?” _

“I’ll get home late tonight.”

Hyunwoo keeps quiet for a second or two, as if processing the information, and then he sighs heavily.

_ “You’ll have a hard time trying to make it up for him, you know that, don’t you?” _

Hoseok smiles sadly.

“Yeah.” he says. “Yeah, I know.”

_ “But okay. I’ll try to calm him down, I don’t know, distract him for a while. Make things a bit more smooth for you when you finally get back.” _

Hoseok appreciates that. He knows that, if Jooheon’s as upset as he said he was ― as he  _ sounded _ on the phone ―, Hyunwoo probably won’t be able to do much, but it’s the intent that counts.

“Thank you.”

Hyunwoo chuckles lightly at that.

_ “Don’t thank me yet.” _ there’s noise on the background.  _ “Also, uh, I kind of need to finish that dinner now. Don’t you need to be doing something else, too?” _

Hoseok almost forgot that ― Yoosu must be thinking he won’t help them at all, the poor guy. He curses under his breath.

“Yeah. Yeah, I need to.” he rubs his face. “I’ll send you a message when I enter in the bus, okay?”

_ “Sure.” _

“See you later, hyung.”

_ “See you later.” _

Hyunwoo ends the call.

Hoseok gives his phone a last look before sighing, shoulders dropping.

Work is work, right? He doesn’t have another choice.

Even though he wishes he did.

  
  


Thursday, when Hoseok gets back home, Jooheon’s already sound asleep.

He doesn’t know exactly what’s showing off on his face, but Hyunwoo’s eyes are sad when he passes Hoseok the sleeping boy. Jooheon’s a tiny ball of black and yellow on his father’s arms, huddled up on his most comfy pajamas, and he nuzzles comfortably against Hoseok’s chest, small hand instinctively latching onto the older’s shirt, fingers tightly wrapped around the cloth.

“I’m sorry. He was very tired, so I didn’t want to try and keep him awake.”

“I ―” Hoseok stops. He doesn’t know what to say.  _ Hell, _ he doesn’t  know if there’s something to say, if there’s something to do. He holds Jooheon closer, his eyes stinging, his hands a bit shaky. “It’s okay.”

It’s not.  _ It’s not. _ Hoseok wants to curl up and cry. His breath hitches, his lips trembling, his eyes warm and suddenly full of tears. Hyunwoo immediately surrounds both him and Jooheon with his arms, bringing the younger closer to his chest, letting him hide his face against his collarbones and sniffle, all his body shaking with the effort not to cry.

“Shhh.” Hyunwoo runs his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, rubbing his back gently. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay. Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Hoseok admits, voice small, eyes closed. “I don’t know if it’s worth it. I just ― I’m tired, hyung.”

Hyunwoo sighs.

“Why don’t you talk with your boss?” he asks. “Why are you working that much, anyway? That’s not okay, Hoseok. I know you’re friends, but that’s not okay.”

“Minkyun’s with his arm casted yet.” the younger sniffles, and Jooheon mumbles something incoherent in his arms. “And Seokwon’s sick. I’m just trying to help.”

“You care too much.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be.” Hyunwoo recoils to give him a tentative smile. “Just ― don’t overwork yourself, dongsaeng. And stop worrying yourself sick. Jooheon’s starting to notice.”

Both of them look at the little boy at the same time. Jooheon’s eyebrows are slightly furrowed, lips twisted in a fierce pout, and Hoseok can’t help but smile. He gently rubs the space between his son’s eyebrows, trying to make him stop frowning in his sleep, rocking him back and forth in a slow pace. Jooheon yawns, features softening, and nuzzles against him, pressing his face against his father’s chest and sighing deeply.

“I don’t want him to get upset at me.” Hoseok mumbles, fingers delicately caressing the line of Jooheon’s chin, and, even deep in his slumber, the little boy hums quietly, content. “What should I do?”

“He won’t.” Hyunwoo shakes his head, and ruffles Hoseok’s hair fondly. “The weekend’s coming, isn’t it? You don’t work on weekends. You never did, you won’t start doing it now. Spend time with him. Jooheon will like that.”

Hoseok takes in a deep breath. Holds it for a moment or two.

“Okay.” he says, in the end. “Okay.”

He can do that.

_ He can do that. _

  
  


Friday’s not so problematic as Hoseok thought it’d be. Jooheon pulls a bit of a scene when he’s leaving, but doesn’t seem as upset about it as his father believed him to be, and Hoseok thinks he should be grateful about that; he manages to get back home just a bit late for dinner, and the smile on his little boy’s face makes it all worthy.

The weekend also goes smoothly. Jooheon wakes up almost seven in the morning and  _ somehow _ manages to bribe his father out of bed to make breakfast for them and play with him ― he behaves, doesn’t try to eat toothpaste, doesn’t splash water with soap on Hoseok’s eyes, and keeps his smile all the while. Hoseok can’t say that it doesn’t take him by surprise, but decides to play along with it and enjoy his time at his son’s side.

Monday is okay ― he gets back home in time for dinner, Jooheon wastes at least an hour making him play every one of Hyunwoo’s phone games, they watch TV together and Hoseok sings him to sleep.

Tuesday, and Tao’s searching for more people to help them in the agency, because, though they  _ are _ doing a good work just by themselves, the crazy rhythm will soon start to get on everybody’s nerves, and he says he doesn’t want that. Hoseok just nods along and keeps working, relieved at the news.

Wednesday, the weather starts to change. Thursday ― and he gets home late enough for Jooheon to be sound asleep in Hyunwoo’s arms once again, who, in turn, tries to comfort him about it.

Then Friday comes again, and Hoseok wakes up at five am with a whimpering, sweaty boy struggling against his arms.

 

“Heonbee?” he calls, a bit groggy, rubbing his eyes to try and get rid of the sleepiness that threatens to overtake him. “What’s up?”

Jooheon whines, low and unhappy, and nuzzles against his father’s chest, arms wrapping around the older almost as if he wants to cling onto him and never let go. The gesture ― and how  _ warm _ he feels to the touch ― immediately puts Hoseok on alert, body going ridig, hands shoting up to hold the little boy.

“It’s cold, appa.” Jooheon complains in a childish tone. “I’m cold.”

Hoseok curses under his breath and sits, holding the kid close and pressing a hand onto his forehead. Jooheon’s shivering, rubbing his cheek against his father’s chest, tiny hands closed into fists on Hoseok’s back. He feels warm ― though not as warm as Hoseok had the impression at first ― and a bit limp on his arms.

_ “Appa.” _ Jooheon whines again, unhappy, lifting his head a bit so he can give his father a pouty look. His cheeks are rosy, eyes dull, hair soaked with sweat, and Hoseok doesn’t even  _ think _ before engulfing him in an embrace, wrapping his arms all around the little boy and holding him tight, rocking him back and forth to try and calm him down a bit.

A fever. His little bee’s got a _ fever. _

“Shit.” Jooheon’s too busy breathing heavily and holding onto him for dear life to call Hoseok out on saying ‘a bad word’, and, for a brief moment, the older feels the panic rising up his throat. “Shit, shit, shit.”

He looks at the clock on the nightstand. It’s barely past five ― there’s no way he can call his mother. Or Hyunwoo. Or the pediatrician. Or anyone, really. That leaves him a bit stressed, a bit riled up on the feeling of despair that tugs at the pitch of his stomach and makes him nauseated. He has a moment where his breath hitches, panic washing over his senses.

And then ― then Jooheon’s sniffling against his collarbones, eyes closed, fingers pressed more fiercely against his father’s back, and Hoseok knows he needs to  _ stop panicking. _

“Shhh, appa’s here, baby bee, appa’s here.” he coos softly, and presses a gentle kiss on the boy’s wet hair. “Appa will make it better, okay?”

Jooheon sniffles again, but nods in response, and Hoseok takes a moment to think about what he needs to do. The first thing that occurs him is what happened when Jooheon got sick for the first time under his care ― he remembers how he completely gave up to the panic and called his mother, crying non-stop for he didn’t know what to do. She had all the patience in the world to calm him down and come over to take the lead and teach him.

No meds, Hoseok remembers all of a sudden ― not because Jooheon can’t take them, but because they can upset his already sensitive stomach (and Hoseok won’t take that risk) and because they don’t have the child-allowed one, and Hoseok can’t give him any other. He curses again and rubs Jooheon’s back fondly, eyes scanning the room, biting his lower lip.

It’s the towel thrown over the chair next to his desk that makes him think of something. He looks again at the clock on the nightstand, considers the idea for a second, and then slowly crawls out of bed, careful not to let Jooheon slip off his arms; what wouldn’t be necessary in a normal day, but right now the little boy seems like he’s about to let go off his father in favor of curling up on himself, and Hoseok needs to keep an eye out for that.

“Baby bee?” he calls very, very tenderly, and Jooheon makes a sound at the back of his throat to show that he’s kind of paying attention to him. “Appa will give you a bath, is that okay?”

He’ll need to put the boy under lukewarm water anyway, but it won’t hurt to ask ― it won’t hurt to know what the boy thinks of it, and if he’ll need to do something to make him change his mind.

“Uhum.” Jooheon lies his head on the older’s shoulder, cheek heated against his father’s bare skin.

Hoseok caresses his hair, careful, fingers running through the dark locks and untying the knots fondly. Contrary to what he thought at first, it’s quite  _ easy _ to prepare everything to said bath, as the little boy basically doesn’t move on his arms, only whimpering here and there, nuzzling against him.

Keeping him awake, however, it’s another story.

“Baby bee.” Hoseok taps his cheek when, once more, Jooheon leans against his arm, body already under the water, hands holding lightly onto his father’s wrist. “Baby bee, hey ― look at me. Don’t sleep now, Jooheonie.”

“But Jooheonie’s sleepy.” Jooheon complains, though he’s trying to sit on the bathtub, rubbing his eyes a bit. “Jooheonie’s eyes sting, appa.”

Hoseok’s heart breaks a little and he sighs, holding Jooheon’s chest and using his other hand to get the water and let it run down the boy’s back. He thinks the position doesn’t really help him to have a point, as Jooheon’s prone to always sleep bent over something, usually his father shoulder or his godfather’s arms.

“I know, baby bee.” he taps the boy’s head fondly and Jooheon yawns tiredly. “It’ll get better, okay?”

The little boy hums, but he’s already closing his eyes again, breathing deeply and relaxing against the older’s hands, mumbling something quietly under his breath. Hoseok smiles a bit at that, even though guilt’s tugging at the bottom of his heart.

He  _ should _ know better, after all. If  _ his _ immune system is bad enough on its own ― to the point where Hoseok  _ always _ gets sick when winter so much as shows any sign of coming ―, Jooheon’s even  _ worse. _ He should’ve thought about it, he should’ve been ready for something like this to happen. Jooheon gets sick when the time so much as  _ starts _ to change, Hoseok didn’t even  _ think _ about that when it rained on Wednesday.

“Appa?” Jooheon’s voice is small, almost too quiet for him to hear, and Hoseok immediately snaps back to reality, shaking his head to try and get rid of the thoughts that overcrowd his mind.

“Yeah, baby bee?”

“Jooheonie’s hungry.” the little boy complains, and pouts a bit, nuzzling against his father’s forearm. “Can we eat something?”

Hoseok blinks, a bit taken back with the question. Jooheon doesn’t notice, too busy almost falling asleep to pay him any attention. He ends up smiling, relief washing over his senses and making his shoulders drop a bit, tension leaving his body while he ruffles his son’s hair fondly.

“Yeah, Jooheonie, we can.” he promises. “Whatever you want, okay?”

Jooheon hums contently, and he seems a bit better even though his cheeks are still a bit red and his eyes are still a bit dull. When he smiles, however, it feels sincere, dimples showing, tiny white teeth and all.

Hoseok smiles back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¹I have actually no idea how much time someone needs to use the cast when they break something. A friend of mine broke a bone next to her heel last year, and she used the cast for almost an entire month. SO, sorry for any innacuracy, but for plot-development purposes, Minkyun's with his arm casted yet.
> 
> ²ALSO, home decoration and design are a hard thing to do. I made a few researches about it, and it sounds like too much effort put into something that it's not nearly as much acknowledged or respected as it should. So, yay. A shout-out for anyone who has the courage/passion/patience to work with that! <3
> 
> ³A LITTLE BIT OF DRAMA FOLLOWS. ~~No need to worry, though. It's okay in the end.~~
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	6. All the way back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who almost forgot that today is Wednesday and therefore I should update sinfonia (」°ロ°)」
> 
> SO, in case you'll want to hit/drop me now, a light warning: Jooheon cries a bit in the chapter. yeah. sORRY PALS.
> 
> Do I have the right to say 'enjoy' yet? Hm ಠ-ಠ  
> ENJOY (」°ロ°)」

By the time Hyunwoo comes, Jooheon’s fever has gone down a bit, edging the 37,8°C, and, though not at all satisfied, Hoseok’s not on the verge of panic anymore. (He _did_ call the pediatrician, and Namjoon helped him to calm down, giving him advice on what to do if the fever comes back and telling him he did good ― and to call _or_ come if he feels the need to.)

Now his little boy’s clinging onto him, head resting against the crook of his neck, sleepy, and Hoseok can’t blame him for that ― after all, Jooheon _did_ wake up at five am, and he doesn’t know for how long before that his son was restless, so he might as well let him enjoy it.

“What’s up with him?” it’s the first thing that comes out of Hyunwoo’s mouth, smile dropping once he notices his godson’s dimmed mood and the absolute lack of any kind of half squeal or sound that can indicate the little boy’s awake.

“He’s sick.” Hoseok gets out of the way so his best friend can enter the house, and closes the door once he does so. “With fever and all. I already called Namjoon and, uh ― there’s a list for what to do pinned on the fridge door.”

Hyunwoo hums an _‘Ooh’_ and extends his hands towards the little boy, as if asking to pick him up for Hoseok to be able to finish getting ready for work ― because he knows that, if Jooheon’s clinging onto his father during morning, it probably means Hoseok’s late. The younger gives him a tentative smile ― silently thanking him for being such an awesome friend ― and tries to gently detache the little boy’s hands from his clothes, humming for him in a soft tone.

“Jooheonie?” the kid doesn’t show any signs of recognition, nor he lets go off him. “Jooheonie, appa needs to go to work now.”

Jooheon makes a small, squeaky sound ― and tightens his hold on his father. Hoseok’s a bit of a loss for what to do. He doesn’t want to hurt him ― if he’s being sincere to himself, he doesn’t want to _leave_ ―, but he also needs to go away soon if he doesn’t want to be late. Hyunwoo notices his conflicted emotions and approaches, delicately rubbing his godson’s back.

“Baby boy?” he calls, voice warm, soothing.

Jooheon takes a furtive look at him ― and then hides against his father’s neck once again. Hyunwoo furrows his eyebrows together, and both him and Hoseok share a worried look.

“Baby boy, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want appa to go to work.”

The answer is muffled against Hoseok’s skin, but, even if it wasn’t, it would’ve break his heart anyway. He can feel his baby boy shaking on his arms, and it makes his stomach churn with guilt. _Oh, man,_ he doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore.

“Heonbee, appa ―”

“No!” Jooheon grabs the collar of his shirt, tiny fingers holding the cloth so tightly his knuckles are white, voice trembling, and sniffles. “Appa doesn’t have more time to spend with Jooheonie, and Jooheonie doesn’t like that! Jooheonie wants appa to _stay!”_

At the end of the sentence, he’s basically _screaming_ on his father’s arms ― and then all hell breaks loose. Jooheon sobs, and his shoulders drop, and _then_ he starts crying.

Hoseok can count on his fingers how many times he saw his son crying like that ― the full-on wailing, with shaky shoulders and hiccups and tears and half words that don’t even _make sense_ being sobbed out non-stop ― and not once, _not once_ he was the cause behind it. Not until now.

“Jooheonie ― oh, no, no, please, Jooheonie!” he immediately abandons any remaining vestige of calm, eyes widening in despair, rocking the boy back and forth and trying to soothe him. “Don’t ― appa didn’t mean it, shit, I ― I’m sorry, Jooheonie, I’m sorry, appa’s sorry, _please.”_

Hyunwoo approaches, and his hands are careful, gentle while rubbing the boy’s back, one arm immediately wrapping around both his dongsaengs, trying to keep both under his touch, murmuring in a low, comforting tone. Hoseok’s eyes are also getting warm, his voice breaking, panic rising up all the way from the pitch of his stomach to the tip of his tongue and leaving him nauseated, shoulders shaking, mind racing.

And Jooheon just _doesn’t stop crying._

“Why ― why d-doesn’t app-a want to s-stay?” his eyes are blown wide and sorrowful and the tears keep falling non-stop, lips quivering, cheeks even more red than before, and Hoseok’s heart makes the _thump-thump_ of raw despair inside his ribcage. “What d-did Jooheonie ― what did J-Jooheonie do w-wrong?”

And he keeps chanting a lot of _‘Jooheonie’s sorry! Jooheonie’s sorry’_ with _‘Jooheonie doesn’t want appa to go!’_ all the while, sounding so honestly _desperate_ to make his father understand his point, to make him _listen_ to what he’s saying, and Hoseok’s finally had enough.

_“Jooheon, stop!”_

A heavy silence installs itself on the room once Hoseok ends the sentence. Hyunwoo recoils, taking a step back to give him a wide-eyed, almost betrayed look. He doesn’t seem to understand what the younger’s doing. Hoseok kind of doesn’t understand it himself ― he just couldn’t bear hearing his little boy apologize for something he didn’t do, for something he has absolutely no control (or _guilt,_ for god’s sake) over.

“A ―” Jooheon stops. Swallows dry. His eyebrows start furrowing together, fear written all over his face. Hoseok’s never, _ever_ screamed at him before ― not when he was tired, not when he didn’t have enough sleep, not when he was angry. That’s also a first for them. “Appa?”

Hoseok needs to bite the inside of his cheeks with enough force to draw _blood_ so he can focus on the situation instead of on how _desperately_ _loud_ his heart’s beating against his chest.

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry, baby bee.” he asks, softly, and holds the boy closer, rubbing his back fondly and nuzzling against him in the most gentle manner he can. “You have nothing to be sorry for ― you did nothing wrong. _Appa_ should be the one apologizing. Appa didn’t want to give you the wrong impression, baby bee. Appa’s sorry, okay?”

Jooheon’s fearful features soften until they’re gone, and then his lips are quivering again, but, this time, when he hides against his father’s neck, his sobs are more spaced, with deep breaths in-between and nothing of the despair-induced ramble from before. Hoseok swallows the lump on his throat and presses a kiss against his son’s hair ― and then another, and another, and another, until he’s only with his head buried against the little boy’s dark locks, breathing deeply, slowly, trying to calm down his own nerves and give him some confidence.

Jooheon’s still holding onto him like his life depends on it.

“It’s okay, baby bee.” he murmurs, without moving an inch. “It’s okay. Appa’s not going anywhere, okay? Appa’s going to stay with you. Appa’s not going anywhere, I promise.”

Jooheon sniffles. Hoseok kisses his hair one more time. The little boy relaxes with a whimper, almost going limp against him, and the older knows all of that must’ve take a toll on his little boy. It makes his guilt tug more insistently at his heart, and he looks up to find his best friend staring at them with worry written all over his face ― accusations already forgotten, understanding why Hoseok did what he did, why he _needed_ to do it.

“You ― you want me to do something?” Hyunwoo asks very, very quietly ― almost as if he’s afraid of disturbing the sudden quietness of the house.

Hoseok stops walking. Jooheon’s still sniffling on his arms, rubbing his eyes with tiny hands closed into fists, face now red not only because of his fever, but also because of all the crying. His cheeks are wet and his eyes a bit swollen, breath hitching a bit, shoulders still shaking.

His father’s features harden a bit.

“Call Tao for me. Tell him I’m not going today.”

There’s _no way_ Hoseok’s leaving his baby bee like that.

_Absolutely no way._

  


Tao ends up being very comprehensive, and Hoseok’s a lot relieved by that ― he doesn’t have any idea what he’d do if the other didn’t, because going to work’s not an option to him right now. He knows he’s leaving the team in a bad position and apologies profusely for it, even though Tao guarantees him they’ll manage to survive (and something about how Hoseok needed to take a break anyway, but he doesn’t pay much attention to that).

The point is: Hoseok’s home. Jooheon’s sick. Hyunwoo’s cuddling with them on the couch, one arm wrapped around his best friend ― whose head is lying comfortably on his shoulder ―, the other resting on Jooheon’s back, rubbing gentle circles over the boy’s skin.

“He’s warm.” he says, and tilts his head a bit, resting against Hoseok’s hair. “Do you have any meds?”

“No.” Hoseok sighs, moving a bit so Jooheon can find a more comfortable position to sleep, nuzzling against him and humming quietly in satisfaction. “I forgot to buy it after the last time.”

“Want me to go and get some?”

Hoseok opens his mouth to answer. Jooheon whines, he shuts up, and the little boy’s eyelids flutter open, eyes blurred with sleep. The kid mumbles out something that sounds suspiciously like _‘appa?’,_ and Hyunwoo immediately helps Hoseok to make the boy sit, keeping his arm as support on Jooheon’s back.

“Baby bee?” Hoseok calls, tentatively, and presses a hand on the little boy’s forehead. Jooheon whines and pushes his hand away, fingers almost as warm as his burning cheeks.

“Jooheonie doesn’t feel good.” he complains, childishly, tiny fingers wrapped around his father’s wrist, body shaking slightly. “Jooheonie doesn’t feel good, appa.”

“Damn.” Hoseok massages as delicately as possible his son’s hair and head with his free hand, and, this time, the little boy hums in contentment, leaning against him and sighing deeply. “Hyung, can you ―”

“I will.” Hyunwoo nods, and runs a hand through Jooheon’s hair gently. “Don’t worry, baby boy, it’ll get better.”

Jooheon murmurs something incoherent as answer, closing his eyes again and pressing his face against his father’s collarbones, almost as if ready to drift onto sleep again. Hoseok sighs and hugs him, nuzzling against the little boy and pressing a tender kiss against his temple.

“Hyunwoo hyung will buy you meds while we bath, okay, Heonbee?” he rocks his son back and forth, slowly, too slowly. “We can do whatever you want after that.”

“Will Jooheonie want to watch Adventure Time?” Hyunwoo rubs Jooheon’s back fondly, eyes watching the boy intently. “We can bring Jake and make a pillow fort, if you want, baby boy.”

Jooheon’s head perks up a bit at that, interest making him a bit more awake, and Hoseok gives his best friend a grateful smile. The little boy rubs his eyes a bit, trying to get rid of the sleepiness, and gives both his father and godfather a hopeful look.

“Can we?”

“Sure thing, little bee.” Hoseok ruffles his hair a bit.

“And will appa watch them with us?”

“Uhum.”

“Pinky promise? Appa won’t go to sleep on the first ten minutes?”

Hyunwoo chuckles at that. Hoseok can feel his ears burning a bit in shame ― it happened _once,_ when he was too tired to keep his eyes open and ended up sound asleep with Jooheon and Hyunwoo on the couch, and his hyung never let him live it down; apparently, now his son won’t let it go either. He holds his little boy’s hand and presses a soft kiss against the warm skin, careful not to hold him too tight.

“Pinky promise, baby bee.”

Jooheon’s smile shows up after that, dimmed, but a smile nonetheless, and Hoseok’s heart gets a bit less heavy. Hyunwoo smiles at both of them, ruffles Jooheon’s hair and stands up to search for the key.

“My wallet’s on ―”

“I’m not going to use your money.” Hyunwoo cuts him off fastly, and, under Hoseok’s not-so-content gaze, he arches an eyebrow. “What? Tylenol’s like, twelve thousand won. You can’t honestly want me to take your money to pay for that.”

Hoseok cringes a bit, and, when he’s gathering the courage to discuss the subject ― he always needs courage to discuss anything with his hyung, because Hyunwoo makes him feel like he’s _wrong_ for just _thinking about it_ ―, Jooheon whimpers and curls on his lap. Hyunwoo’s features soften, Hoseok stops frowning, the little boy presses his face against the crook of his father’s neck, cheeks warm, breath uneasy.

“Give him a bath.” Hyunwoo says. “I’ll get back soon, I promise.”

“Okay.” Hoseok nods, not up to argue anymore. “Don’t forget to ask for the child-allowed one. Last time I almost bought the one with Codeine.”

“That’s because you’re easily distracted.”

If they weren’t talking about something so serious, Hoseok would probably do a little bit of drama, complain and whine like it wasn’t the first time Hyunwoo discreetely called him slow ― but, as it’s not, he only rolls his eyes and motions for the older to go.

“Shoo, shoo.”

Hyunwoo smiles briefly at that, finds the keys, and, when he passes next to the couch again, makes a point of ruffling Hoseok’s hair and ignoring the younger’s protested _‘Hey!’._ Hoseok squints his eyes at the older, Hyunwoo chuckles, Jooheon mumbles something incoherent in a low tone and presses his forehead against his father’s chin.

“Does Jooheonie need to take the meds?” he asks, quietly.

Hoseok’s worry perks up at that. Jooheon never complained about meds before ― injections, yes, they are a complete mess, a complete disaster, but not meds. He hopes his son won’t start disliking the idea now, because he’s not really sure how he would (or should) deal with that.

“Jooheonie does.” he says, and wraps his arms more securely around the little boy, standing.

“Will it hurt?”

Hoseok blinks. Looks at the little boy looking quite dejected, tiny arms wrapped around his neck.

“No. Of course not.” Hoseok ruffles his son’s hair. “Why would it?”

Jooheon shrugs, pouting a bit, and his father decides not to pry on the subject, keeping the boy safely held against his chest. Hoseok doesn’t like the quietness of his little boy, he doesn’t like the silence that surrounds both of them as he walks towards the bathroom. Jooheon’s usually so loud and full of life and excitement, it’s hard to keep the feeling of restlessness that tugs at Hoseok’s heart, urging him to do something about it, to try and make his little boy at least a bit happy.

“Do you want bubbles, baby bee?”

“Will appa make bubbles with me?”

Hoseok’s heart _melts._

“Yeah, Heonbee, of course I will.”

Jooheon gives him a very dimpled, very happy smile.

Hoseok smiles back at him.

  


Hoseok’s busy drying Jooheon’s hair and letting the boy nuzzle against his chest when the doorbell rings. He stops for a moment, frowning in confusion, because the only person that _could_ be coming at this time would be Hyunwoo ― but then, again, his best friend took one key with him, so, unless he lost it, there’d be no reason for him to be using the doorbell.

A bit confused and trying to think of someone who could be coming at this hour of the day ― not his mother, because she’s working, and not any of his coworkers because of the same reason, and that leaves basically no one, because Hoseok’s social circle decreased once he stopped going out with people and choose to stay home and spend time with his baby boy ―, he puts the towel aside and hums quietly.

“Who could it be?”

The little boy on his arms, as expected for someone already half passed out against his father’s shoulder, doesn’t answer, only blinking slowly and yawning, snuggling more comfortably on his embrace. Hoseok smiles fondly at him, presses a kiss against his still lukewarm forehead and walks towards the living room.

He could name all of the people who passed through his mind while imagining who could it be behind the door, but not once, not _once_ the person who’s there came in his thoughts.

“Kihyun?”

The pink-haired guy gives him an awkward smile and an apologizing look.

“Hey, hyung.” he says, and he seems so honestly out of place that it’s almost cringe-worthy. “Are you busy now?”

Hoseok blinks. Looks down at the little boy asleep on his arms. Looks back at Kihyun. The other, apparently, was also looking at Jooheon, and doesn’t bother looking up at him again.

“Uh, kind of?” Hoseok clears his throat, trying not to sound rude, or, at least, not as lost as he feels. “Can I help you?”

Kihyun still takes a bit to answer, his eyes not leaving the older’s son. When Hoseok’s kind of _starting_ to feel a bit uncomfortable, however, the younger turns to him again, shrugging a bit.

“I forgot my phone here when we came to dinner.” he says, monotone, as if it’s nothing out of the usual, and then nods towards Jooheon, eyebrows slightly furrowed together, concern lacing his voice on the next sentence. “Is he okay?”

Jooheon hums something uninteligible, tiny fingers wrapped tightly around his father’s collar, and Hoseok rubs his back affectionately before the little boy starts whimpering. He knows the kid’s not in pain ― if he was, he’d tell without batting an eyelash ―, but his father’s sure that soon his discomfort (and the fever) will let his baby bee whiny.

“Your phone?” Hoseok gets out of the way to leave room for him to enter, even though he’s not quite grasping the idea, and starts rocking Jooheon back and forth. “He’s not feeling very well.”

“I’m almost 100% sure it’s here.” Kihyun bows before entering, and his eyes scan the living room for a moment, attentive, before turning his head to look at the older. “Sorry for the interruption, though. I wouldn’t even know it was missing if Changkyun didn’t complain I wasn’t answering his messages.”

“It’s no big deal.” Hoseok offers him a gentle smile. “I would help you, but, uh, it’d be a bit hard to do that right now.”

Kihyun hums in understanding, his eyes flashing to Jooheon once again.

“It’s because of the weather change?” he asks, sounding honestly worried. “Do you need any help?”

The question _really_ takes Hoseok by surprise. It’s not that he’s not used to people offering to help ― his mother does that all the time, Hyunwoo basically lives at his house, and Mrs. Lee pratically demanded to have time with the little boy when she still lived in the neighbourhood ―, but, well. Rarely a person with whom he has basically no familiarity nor intimacy does that; and there were also cases where some neighbours didn’t like his son’s antics, so he wasn’t exactly _expecting_ that from the pink-haired guy who seemed extremely out of place when Jooheon dragged him and his brother to have dinner with them.

It’s ― kind of nice, if he thinks about it. Really, _really_ nice. A gesture of kindness coming from someone he didn’t expect to care about, much less _worry_ about his son. Hoseok’s surprised at how _touched_ he feels while knowing that Kihyun wouldn’t mind helping if he needed.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to ― but thank you anyway.” he shakes his head briefly, after a few moments of silence. “And, uh, yes. His immune system is shit.”

Kihyun’s eyes widen a bit. Hoseok doesn’t understand it at first. Then, very quietly, with a small voice and sounding raw and raspy ― probably from a sore throat that totally _wasn’t there_ before ―, Jooheon mumbles, lifting his head up a bit to rub his eyes in a sleepy state:

“You said a bad word, appa.” he yawns, mouth opening in a perfect ‘O’, eyes closed in crescent moons and dimples showing a bit. “Halmeoni doesn’t like when appa says bad words next to Jooheonie.”

“Oh, sh ―” Hoseok swallows the curse, feeling awkward not because Jooheon’s calling him out on that, but because his neighbour watches the scene as if it’s the most strange thing in the world, and it kind of makes him nervous; Hoseok doesn’t like audience. “Sorry, baby bee.”

Jooheon gives him a tiny smile, snuggling against his father once more, not seeming to notice they have company. Kihyun’s eyes are kept focused on the way the kid clutches at the older’s shirt and hums contently when Hoseok starts caressing his hair and rocking him gently.

 _“‘m_ okay.” the little boy mumbles, nuzzling against Hoseok’s neck, almost as warm as he was before, and his father’s chest constricts with worry.

He wants Hyunwoo to come back with those meds soon, damnit. Or to call his mother and ask her for help again. Or Namjoon; he’s sure the pediatrician wouldn’t mind. The thing is: Hoseok wants his baby bee well and kicking again, instead of sleepy and tired like he is right now, but he has zero idea on how to make it better, and it’s starting to get him all nervous again.

“You should give him tea.” Kihyun suggests in a low, soft tone, as if not to disturb Jooheon, who’s already half asleep again, snapping Hoseok out of his worry-induced state. “Chamomile is good because it can kill bacteria and soothe any pain he may be feeling. You can add honey, if you’re not fan of sugar? Or lemon, I don’t know. It worked on Changkyun when he was younger.”

Oh. _Oh._ There’s also that. Hoseok didn’t think about giving him tea. Jooheon’s not a big fan of tea, but he drinks when he’s feeling like it (in specially cold days or if Hoseok’s mother is making it, because _no one_ is able to refuse Mama Shin’s tea), and the older’s almost sure the little boy wouldn’t mind right now ― not at all, not being feverish as he is.

“I’ll try that.” he flashes his neighbour another smile. “Thank you.”

When Kihyun tries a smile of his own, his eyes crinkle a bit at the corners, cheekbones high and with small, tiny marks that resemble dimples so much that they almost make him seem a lot younger ― it’s a warm smile, even though a bit proud, and it makes Hoseok feel a bit more at ease.

“You’re welcome.”

  


Hyunwoo takes a while to come back. Hoseok’s worried, Jooheon’s sound asleep, and he’s ready to start calling his best friend when Hyunwoo finally shows up, carrying a plastic bag with the meds and looking a bit out of breath.

“Damn, man.” Hoseok gives him an unhappy glare. “What took you so long? I was worried!”

Hyunwoo mutters an apology, scratching the back of his neck in a nervous manner. Hoseok immediately catches upon the fact that there’s something wrong, and his features unfold in worry.

“What’s the matter?” he asks.

“Uh, I think ―” Hyunwoo swallows dry. “I think we got a problem.”

Instinctively, Hoseok brings Jooheon closer to his chest. He doesn’t like how it sounds, he doesn’t like the implications of that sentence. Hyunwoo notices the stress making his shoulders tense, his lips pressed in a thin line.

“What’s up?”

“So… Remember when I went out with Jooheon and we met Hyori?” and, before the younger can say anything, Hyunwoo keeps going. “She was kind of telling me about a project she has with some friends, asking my opinion about it and… She called me today. I have a job offer.”

Hoseok blinks, caught off guard by the statement. Then, he smiles, not understanding why the other’s making it sound like a big deal.

“But that’s good, isn’t it?”

Hyunwoo stares at him for a moment, eyes dark and face expressionless. The younger’s smile drops.

“It’s not a part-time job, Hoseok.” he says, carefully. “I ― I’d be out during most of the day. Like you.”

Oh. _Oh._ Hoseok closes his eyes, cringing. Jooheon lays motionless in his arms, pouting slightly, tiny fingers clutching at his father’s shirt, not aware of what happens around him.

“Shit.” Hoseok says.

“Shit.” Hyunwoo agrees.

What are they going to do, now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- So, made a search about how much it costs a Tylenol liquid 15mL and my research said it’s about nine dollars and a bit. That would be, like, almost twelve thousand won, I’m not really sure. (On my country that would be slightly expensive, but I have no idea how this works on SK, so I tried not to make it that much of a big deal)  
> [well, it WAS almost twelve thousand won when I made my research to write the chapter. Now it'd be around eleven thousand won]
> 
> \- Also, Codeine is illegal in some countries, and in others you need to have a prescription to get a medication with it. The point is::::::: children can't take it. Some of us can't/shouldn't take it. Read the small words in the paper when buying your meds! D: (Also, I'm not really sure meds with it can be sold in SK, with or without prescription.)
> 
> I guess that's it.  
> See you next Sunday! :D
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	7. To the moon and back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heey people <3
> 
> I'd like to thank you all for all the support you've been giving me in sinfonia ;; be it through kudos, be it through bookmarks or comments or hits or <3 I love y'all <3  
> a special shout-out to minsleepy and byungjoos because I dON'T HAVE ENOUGH CAPSLOCK TO THANK YOU, BUT I'M GRATEFUL ANYWAY (」°ロ°)」
> 
> And I think that's it ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ  
> Hope you enjoy! \o

“Say ‘Ah’ to me, Jooheonie.”

_“Aaah.”_

Namjoon hums, stethoscope on the little boy’s back, focused on what he’s doing, and Hoseok watches them attentively, eyes full of worry, arms crossed and fingers nervously tapping his own skin. Jooheon’s sitting on the edge of his pediatrician’s stretcher, tiny legs swinging back and forth, making all the noises the older asks him. He doesn’t seem fazed by the sudden appointment ― probably more because he likes his pediatrician than anything else, but Hoseok’s grateful neverthless.

“His lungs are clean.” Namjoon states, taking off the stethoscope and shaking his head. “There’s no sign of inflammation, not on his throat, not on anywhere else. The fever comes and goes, you say?”

“Yep.” Hoseok approaches, because Jooheon’s making grabby hands at him, and Namjoon takes a step away to give him free pass. The little boy latches onto his father, legs wrapped on Hoseok’s hip, small arms around his neck, and gives his pediatrician a full of dimples, toothy smile. Namjoon smiles in return, his own dimples turning visible with the gesture. “37,8°C, sometimes almost edging 39,4°C.”

“Is he eating well?”

“Jooheonie is!” the little boy chirps in, and his tiny hands grab his father’s hair, pushing the dark locks a bit. “Jooheonie’s eating even the greens!”

Both the adults smile a bit at that. Hoseok ruffles his son’s hair tenderly before turning to the pediatrician once more, nodding in confirmation to the kid’s words.

“He’s eating better than before, if that’s what you’re asking.” he admits, and Jooheon’s face lights up into a pleased smile. “The vegetables and all.”

Namjoon hums in acknowledgement, and picks up his clipboard to write down something. Hoseok’s heartbeat spikes, hands holding the little boy safely against his chest.

“Is that a problem?” he asks, concern lacing his voice.

It’s been almost a week since Jooheon’s fever showed up, and Hoseok doesn’t know what to do anymore. It comes and goes, even when his baby bee eats well and rests enough, and no amount of medicine or lukewarm baths seems to get rid of it. He called Namjoon for the past two days, until the doctor said that, no, there wouldn’t be any problem if he wanted to make an appointment, and also no, it wasn’t just his paranoia taking over. So, since Tao gave Hoseok a break ― and for that the older will always be extremely grateful ―, he accepted it, and here they are.

“No, not at all.” Namjoon fixes his glasses and looks at Hoseok, whose shoulders drop in relief. “But, by the looks of it, there’s nothing wrong with that little boy here.” he pats Jooheon’s head. The kid giggles, shies away and hides on his father’s collarbones. “We’ll need to make a few exams to make sure, but he seems well.”

It doesn’t really help Hoseok to feel better, but he guesses it’s better than nothing. Namjoon writes down something else on his clipboard, deep in thought.

“Did something on your routine change?”

Hoseok blinks confusedly at that.

“Excuse me?”

Namjoon offers him a friendly smile.

“Your routine. You know, habits, work, things like that.” noticing the way Hoseok’s shoulders tense up, Namjoon’s interest perks up. “Did something change?”

“Uh ― I’ve been working more? Kind of.” Hoseok clears his throat, feeling a bit uncomfortable. “But how would that make him sick?”

Namjoon sighs, puts aside his clipboard and takes off his glasses, using the coat to clean the lenses. Hoseok watches him carefully. Jooheon wraps his fingers on his father’s hair again, pushing it to call his attention.

“Appa, can we buy lollipop after we get out of Joonie hyung’s office?” he asks, and pokes Hoseok’s cheek. “I want lollipop.”

Namjoon’s lips turn upwards at that. He goes to his desk, searches through the drawers and takes a heart-shaped lollipop from one of them. Jooheon’s too distracted to notice, but the pediatrician mouths a _‘is that okay with you?’_ to Hoseok ― who simply nods, even though Jooheon didn’t have lunch yet ― before tapping the little boy’s shoulder.

Jooheon turns to look at him, confusion on his features, and his eyes light up when he sees the candy. Even then, he looks at Hoseok before doing anything, almost as if waiting for him to decide if he can take the candy or not. Hoseok’s heart makes a funny thing inside his chest.

“Take it, baby bee.” he encourages, and Jooheon doesn’t waste any time picking the lollipop out of Namjoon’s hand and opening it.

“Thank you, Joonie hyung!”

“You’re welcome, Jooheonie.”

Both his father and his pediatrician watch him happily sucking the candy for a while before Namjoon decides to speak up again.

“You know, people’s organism can answer to their emotional well-being with fever, fatigue or similar symptoms.” he says, carefully, as if choosing his words. “Some call it psychogenic fever; others use the term functional hyperthermia. Particularly, I’m not fond of any.” Namjoon puts back his glasses, giving Hoseok a somewhat gentle look. “Jooheon’s fever can be ― and hear me with attention, _it can,_ I’m not saying that _it is_ ― an answer from his organism to emotional stress. That would explain why the meds don’t work and why it keeps coming back even though he shows almost no sign of being ill beside the fever.”

Hoseok stops breathing at that, face paling. Immediately, his head’s filled with all the hours he passed away from his baby bee, guilt crawling all the way from the pitch of his stomach to the tip of his tongue, bitter. He didn’t know that his absence could cause something like that ― he had absolutely no idea. It makes him want to call it quit ― to call Tao and tell him he’s not coming back, _ever,_ because he’s neglecting his son and he _can’t do that._

Of course, this would be an extreme decision made out of the blue, but that doesn’t mean Hoseok wants to do it any less. Namjoon seems to catch upon that really fast, and he straightens his shoulders a bit.

“I’m not saying that it’s your fault, Hoseok, calm down.” he shakes his head fiercely. “It can be anything. Have you been frequenting any different places? Has _he_ been frequenting different places? It can be a bacteria, a virus, literally anything. We can’t know with precision without any exam.”

Hoseok nods, looking down in shame, eyes focused on his son. Jooheon’s happy humming against the lollipop on his mouth, not even slightly concerned about their talk, features soft and dimples showing a bit. It makes Hoseok want to pinch his cheeks, or bite him, or both.

“So, what do I do?”

“I’ll give you a prescription.” Namjoon shakes his head. “Blood, urine, white blood cells, we’ll check everything.”

Hoseok takes in a deep breath, already imagining how hard it’ll be to convince Jooheon to make the exams, but nods to show he’s paying attention. Namjoon picks the clipboard again.

“Don’t worry.” he says. “We’ll find out what’s leaving him sick.”

Hoseok smiles weakly at that, hands instinctively rubbing his son’s back.

Jooheon’s still oblivious.

 

Hoseoks mothers not happy in the slightest about the news. He doesn’t know if he regrets it ― telling her ― more than he regrets letting all of this get to the point where his baby boys being prejudicated. Maybe both. (Definitely both.)

"I always told you not to work so much." she says, maybe for the millionth time in a spam of two hours ― she didn’t let the subject die since they came to the cafe. "I always told you to use that time to stay with him."

She’s preparing some sort of pasta, Hoseok doesn’t know for sure, and, logically, he knows that she needs to use a lot of strenght to make it soft and tasty, but he can't help but flinch every time she beats up the poor thing.

"Eomma." he sighs, scratching the back of his neck. "We talked about that. I can't leave my job. We need that money."

"Then work with me!" she smacks down the pasta and a cloud of ferment is blown up. She turns to give him a stern look, and Hoseok's shoulders immediately go tense. "Work in the cafe, bring him along, everyone ends happy! I don't understand why you need to complicate everything, it's not that hard."

Hoseok breathes in. Breathes out. Looks away, crosses his arms. It's not ― it's not his fault. It's not even because he wouldn't want to, but because it would take away all he's been working so hard for. He always wanted his independence, always wanted to stop being the reason why his mother worked entire days straight without any pause to rest, and he knows it won't be like that if he starts working with her. One day, and two ― before he knows, he'll be selling the house they now live in, just so he can save more money, and they (he and Jooheon, and sometimes Hyunwoo) will start living with her.

And then she'll convince him to wait another year to put his baby boy in some school ― she'll say they can have him just for themselves for a bit more, just a bit more, and then Jooheon will be six and going to school and won't know not even one kid at his age. If there's anything that Hoseok can do to make his son happy, he will do it, and locking the kid inside won't make the situation any better. He wants to explain that to her ― wants to tell her he's tired of seeing his baby boy hanging around adults as if he belongs to the group, as if he shouldn't be out there, surrounded by a bunch of screaming kids and friends.

"You know I can't do that." Hoseok says, instead, body tense, lips pressed in a thin line.

"Why not?" she asks, frowning, and he knows her enough to be sure: if they don't stop soon, they'll start arguing about it (again), and he doesn't want to do that.

"Eomma ―"

"Appa!"

Both of them immediately stop staring at each other, and turn to see a little boy with red cap running inside the kitchen, a very distressed Sooyoung following him quickly. Her eyes are wide and a bit scared, and she apologies profusely to Hoseok's mother, saying she tried to keep Jooheon outside, but he didn't want to listen. Hoseok kind of feels bad for her, but he has his own problems to take care of ― his son tugs insistently at the bottom of his shirt, demanding attention, and that's not something he can just ignore.

"Joy doesn't know how to draw cars, appa!" Jooheon waves a page wildly, sounding a bit horrified, and all Hoseok can see is a mess of blue and red before the boy's putting it down and giving him the squinty eye. "Jooheonie wants to draw cars!"

Hoseok smiles gently at the boy.

"Heonbee, her name's not Joy, it's Sooyoung. Soo-young, okay?" he crouches down to poke Jooheon's cheeks, and the boy giggles a bit before pushing his hands away, mumbling something that sounds suspiciously like _‘But she's always been Joy!'._ "Do you want me to help you with your drawings now?"

Jooheon's lips stretch into a big, happy smile, and he opens his mouth to answer ― even though his father already knows the answer he'll get ―, but then stops. He looks at Hoseok, and then at his grandmother, and Sooyoung watching them cautiously, her fingers playing with the tip of her hair, styled in a high ponytail.

Jooheon looks down and brings the drawing to his chest, smile fading, and Hoseok's head is immediately filled with alarm bells ringing desperately.

"Isn't appa busy?" the little boy asks in a squeaky, uncomfortable tone.

Hoseok doesn't even think before wrapping his arms around the kid and lifting him up a bit, swinging Jooheon in his arms and pressing sloppy kisses against his face until the boy's giggling and trying to push him away, with half-hearted complains about how 'it's icky!' and how 'appa should stop doing that!'.

"Appa's never busy to his baby bee." he stands, holds Jooheon at his side like a bag, and, at this point, the little boy's already laughing, even though he keeps trying to say he doesn't like it. Hoseok looks at his mother ― her eyes soften, and Sooyoung stares at him in awe. "Can we talk later, eomma?"

"Sure." she shakes her head, gives him a gentle smile. "I'll finish this up and follow you two. Sooyoung ―" the poor girl goes livid, turning to look at the elder. "― do you mind helping me?"

"No, ma'am!"

"Then go wash your hands and put an apron!"

Hoseok smiles, and Jooheon's complaints are starting to sound a bit more sincere now, so he holds him properly before exiting the kitchen. Jooheon hums happily and lies his head against his father's shoulder, nuzzling against his neck, not seeming to mind that his drawing's pressed against the older's back, probably already smashed because of his total lack of care while handling it. Hoseok doesn't mind, they can do another, one, two, how many of them Jooheon wishes for them to do.

Once they sit together, joined hip to hip because Jooheon's a clingy tiny bee, Hoseok immediately wraps an arm around his son's shoulders, letting him lean against his side, and the little boy relaxes against him, humming to a familiar music playing on the background.

"Can we make it blue, appa?" Jooheon asks, pushing the crayons and blank papers closer. "And put red flowers in them? Or pink. Pink flowers, appa! Like the ones halmeoni likes the most. I like pink. Can we do that?"

Hoseok smiles and ruffles the kid's hair, gladly accepting when the younger offers him the blue crayon.

"Of course we can, Heonbee!" he feels a bit proud when Jooheon focuses on his hands and fingers and what he does to sketch a simple car ― the boy learns fast, he likes to do things by himself, and he's always, _always_ eager to learn anything, any time. Hoseok has a feeling he'll do okay when he finally goes to school. "Do you want me to do the clouds?"

"No, no!" Jooheon holds up the orange crayon. "Jooheonie can do it, Jooheonie can do it!"

Hoseok chuckles at his excitement, and pushes the little boy to his lap to make it easier for both of them to use the paper. Jooheon takes up a lot of space, leaning in and almost lying on the table to get to the space where he wants to draw the clouds, but Hoseok doesn't mind. He starts humming quietly, waiting for the boy to give him some place to keep going, and Jooheon starts swinging his legs back and forth, tilting his head slightly. Hoseok looks at the crayons, and an idea passes through his mind.

"Do you mind if I draw the sun, baby bee?"

Jooheon shakes his head, turning a bit to give his father a toothy grin, and Hoseok's chest warms up. He leans in and presses a soft kiss to the boy's cheek, ignoring the 'eew' Jooheon lets out and trying not to freak out with the fact that his son feels a bit warm to the touch. He can't keep giving him meds, because on the long run it'll end up making him feel worse, but there's just so much lukewarm baths can do, and Hoseok's starting to panic. Namjoon says he and Jooheon were used to spend a lot of time together, and that may ― possibly ― be the reason why all of this started in the first place: Hoseok's sudden need to overwork took it away, and Jooheon felt it like no one else, like some kind of abandonment, even though Hoseok didn't intend for it to happen. (What wasn't his fault, Namjoon insisted, under the other's regretful gaze, because he had no control over what was happening on his work.)

Namjoon also says that it's bound to get better ― that soon Jooheon will understand, that Hoseok's need to work more is something temporary, so it won't (it can't) get worse. He just has to be patient and careful, to keep an eye out for any change that may cause them problems in the future.

"Appa?"

"Yes, Jooheonie?"

"Are you going to go away?"

Hoseok stops drawing, breath hitching. He takes a moment to recover, swallowing down and trying not to let it show how his hands start shaking. Jooheon keeps drawing, his head hanging low, but Hoseok can see that his movements are slow, almost as if afraid that he'll lose the answer if he focus on anything else.

"I'm not going anywhere." the older says, and wraps his arms around the boy's waist, resting his cheek against the top of Jooheon's head and inhaling deeply. "Why do you ask, baby bee?"

Jooheon stops drawing, and Hoseok feels his tiny fingers wrapping around his own, small hands that he holds close, dearly, trying to give his son some confidence, some security. The little boy sniffles discreetely, and Hoseok hugs him tighter.

"Sometimes you don't come home." Jooheon mumbles out quietly, so quietly Hoseok almost doesn't hear him. "Halmeoni is upset, appa is always tired, and samchon worries a lot, all the time. I almost don't see appa anymore. Is appa going away?"

"Appa's not going anywhere." Hoseok repeats immediately, more fierce this time. "And even if he were, he would take his baby bee with him."

"But why?"

Hoseok blinks. The question takes him by surprise and, before he can ask his son what he's trying to imply, Jooheon wiggles a bit in his arms, forcing him to free the little boy from the hug just so the other can turn to look at him. Jooheon's eyes are not full of tears ― not like Hoseok was kind of expecting them to be ―, but his cheeks are colored by a faint pink and lips are quivering. Hoseok presses their foreheads, and stares at his little bee's eyes, waiting for him to keep talking.

"Jooheonie can't help appa with work yet. And Jooheonie can't cook. Jooheonie's not big like samchon, and Jooheonie's not strong like appa, and Jooheonie can't draw a car on his own." Jooheon's lips, even while he pouts, are still trembling. When tears start forming in his eyes, Hoseok's heart hurts, his own vision turning blurry. "Why?"

Hoseok bites his lower lip until he feels blood filling his mouth, realization hitting him like a truck. (He can't mess things up. He doesn't know what to do, but he can't.)

"Because appa loves his baby bee a lot." he gives the little boy a small, tentative smile. "Appa loves his baby bee to the moon and back. And ― and when we love people a lot, when we love people like that, we keep them close."

Jooheon's eyes are fixed on him, admiration and curiosity slowly overtaking the sadness.

"We do?" he asks, getting away from Hoseok's face just so he can rub his eyes to try and get rid of the tears, body relaxing a bit.

"We do." Hoseok agrees, and puts a hand over Jooheon's chest, still surprised at how young, small the boy looks when he's staring at him like that: wide-eyed, cheeks red, eagerly waiting for him to explain something. "Appa carries his baby bee everywhere, see? Inside his heart. Because appa loves his baby bee to the moon and back, and he knows ―"

"Baby bee loves appa to the moon and back!" Jooheon interrupts, suddenly, voice high-pitched, eyes even wider than before ― as if he's just understood what his father's trying to say ―, and he throws himself against Hoseok, wrapping both arms and legs around him and burying his head against the older's chest. "Baby bee loves appa to the moon and back." he repeats, and smiles to himself, delighted.

Hoseok smiles along, even though his mouth is shaking a bit at the corners.

 

Later, he calls Hyunwoo to talk about it.

 _“You should stop overworking.”_ the older says, without even taking time to digest all the information the other gave him. _“I know you only want the best for him, and I know things are kinda messy at your job, but, honestly, that's not your fault, you have nothing to do with it, and you can't keep doing that as if it won't eventually stress you out.”_

“I know.” Hoseok breathes in. Breathes out. His lungs feel like burning. “I know, hyung, I just ― how do I make this stop? I don't want him to hurt. I _never_ wanted him to hurt. He thinks I'm going to leave him, hyung, and I don't know how to make it stop.”

On the other side of the cafe, he can see his son smiling and playing along with both his grandmother and Sooyoung. It's something usual, something common ― but Hoseok's heart seems to get smaller and smaller every time Jooheon's eyes search for him, his head turning around so he can have a better vision at where his father's at, almost as if to check if he was saying the truth when he told him he was just going to make a call before coming back to finish their last drawing.

Almost as if waiting for him to go away, to turn his back on him and leave.

“He doesn't trust me.” he mumbles, voice tiny and breaking a bit at the end of the sentence, a lump suddenly making it hard to breath, his eyes welling up with tears. “Shit. What do I do, hyung? He ― he's sick because of me. I didn't want that. I wasn't trying ― I never thought I was going to ―”

 _“Stop.”_ Hyunwoo's voice is demanding, and Hoseok immediately shuts up, swallowing dry. _“Stop right there. Stop panicking.”_

Part of Hoseok wants to say 'okay' and promise he'll stop. The other part knows it'd be a lie, and tells him not to be like that. He decides it's better to just keep his mouth shut and focus on the older's words, otherwise he'll end up getting lost inside his own head again.

 _“You're the father of a boy who has four years.”_ Hyunwoo says, and he sounds more gentle this time. _“Things are bound to get messy. Things are bound to go wrong. And you need to stop doing that every time something goes wrong. If you keep freaking out every time something bad happens, Jooheon will freak out every time something bad happens. You've always been pratically glued to that boy, Hoseok, of course he misses you a lot now that you're almost the entire day at work, we all do.”_

“But none of you are sick because of it.” Hoseok murmurs, more to himself than to the other, but Hyunwoo hears him anyway, and he's not happy in the slightest.

 _“What were you waiting for?”_ Hyunwoo's voice rises up a bit. _“We know how it is, and we know what goes through your head, Jooheon doesn't. He just knows that one day his father passed the entire night with him, from coming home to sleep time, entire weekends without extra work, a lot of attention and things to do together, and suddenly his father's too busy to get back home in time to dinner! How he's supposed to know what you think, what you do, what you feel, when you don't tell him?!”_

Hoseok feels as if he's been hit. He stops breathing for a moment. On the other side of the line, Hyunwoo goes silent, as if just now noticing what he just did. There's a second or two of tension between them ― and then the older sighs, and Hoseok's shoulders drop; he needs to bring his free hand up and rub his eyes to avoid start crying right here, right now, because he's way too old to make a scene about being called out on his bullshit by his best friend.

 _“I'm sorry.”_ Hyunwoo apologies, quietly. _“I'm just ― what I'm trying to say, Hoseok, is that you can't just freak out and give up when things get hard. You tell him that you love him, and that's good, that's awesome, I'm sure Jooheon won't ever doubt it, but ― it's more complicated than that. He does trust you, but he's afraid, and he gets upset when you shows up tired from work. He gets upset, and he worries, and then you start freaking out, and he doesn't know what to do.”_

Hoseok thinks he can understand that. He thinks ― he thinks he might be able to deal with that. That he might be able to fix it.

“Are you saying that I should explain him everything?"

 _"I'm saying that you should explain him what you think you should explain him."_ Hyunwoo's tone gets softer. _"You don't need to tell him everything. You don't need to explain him things you don't think he'll understand. Just ― don't keep him in the dark about things anymore, Hoseok. It doesn't do any good, not for him, even less for you."_

"Okay." Hoseok inhales deeply, slowly. "I think ― I think I can do that."

 _"Don't feel forced to."_ he can pratically see Hyunwoo shaking his head. _"I can keep talking all day, but in the end you're the one who's going to decide what's better for you two, because it's your daily life, your son, not mine. I'm just trying to help."_

"I know." Hoseok feels like something heavy has been taken off his shoulders. "Thank you."

_"Yah, stop thanking me!"_

He smiles a bit, and, when he opens his mouth to answer, there's an hesitant tug of a small hand at the bottom of his shirt. Hoseok immediately looks down, and Jooheon looks back at him with curious eyes, eyebrows slightly furrowed together.

"Hyung, wait a sec." he murmurs, and ― without waiting for an answer ― crouches down so he's closer to his son in height, because it's easier to watch him that way. "Hey, baby bee. What's up?"

"Is appa upset?" Jooheon asks innocently, poking his father's cheek insistently with the tip of his finger. "Appa's doing that face again."

Part of Hoseok wants to deny as soon as the question leaves the little boy's mouth, but he's curious.

"What face?"

"Appa's cheeks and nose get red, and appa pulls a face like that ―" Jooheon scowls a bit, and Hoseok needs to resist the urge to squish his cheeks and make all types of 'aaw' e 'oow' he knows, because he's _so unbeliavably cute._ "― and he starts messing his hair up. Halmeoni doesn't like when appa messes up his hair, so appa doesn't do it."

Hyunwoo's right. When did Hoseok let his feelings start spilling out of control to the point where his son knows better about his moods than himself? He shakes his head, and opens his arms to ask the little boy for a hug. Jooheon's scowl is immediately replaced by a smile, and he throws himself at his father's chest without thinking twice, giggling when Hoseok hugs him and stands, nuzzling against his hair and lulling him a bit.

"Appa's talking with Hyunwoo hyung on the phone." the older says, and Jooheon's head perks up a bit at that, interest making his eyes glow. "Do you want to talk with him?"

The little boy doesn't even think before answering.

"Jooheonie does!"

Hoseok laughs and ruffles his hair. Jooheon complains and stuffs his cheeks with air, crossing his arms in a stubborn move, even though he doesn't even try to stop him. Hoseok turns his attention back to the phone for a moment.

"Hyung?" he calls. "Heonbee wants to talk with you."

 _"What are you waiting for?"_ Hyunwoo sounds almost as excited as the little boy. _"Give him the phone!"_

Hoseok would feel a bit dejected if he didn't know that his best friend and his son are crazy for each other ― he passes the phone to his baby boy with a smile on his face, and Jooheon's eager to hold it, squealing a delighted 'samchon!' almost as soon as he hears Hyunwoo's voice on the other side. Hoseok watches him curiously, his eyes fond, and his thoughts wander a bit about what's been happening in their lives in the last few weeks.

Maybe Hyunwoo's advice should be taken to all sides of his life, not just his personal. Maybe ― maybe Hoseok should start setting up his priorities, maybe he should stop worrying too much about things that are completely out of his control, and start focusing more on what he should do, on what he's doing, on the present instead of the future.

He starts considering his mother's offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¹Sooo, I need to say that I have absolutely no idea how an appointment with a pediatrician works. I was the type of child to always get sick and take meds and make appointments everywhere, but I honestly don’t remember much of it. I just rolled with the idea lol Sorry for any inaccuracy that might’ve occured :D (Also, psychogenic fever/functional hyperthermia/whatever is a real thing and it's awful.)
> 
> ²Yes, it's Joy from Red Velvet. ~~I love her. I love RV. I love all of them.~~
> 
> ³Idk if there's anything else I should say ಠ_ಠ I don't remember ಠ_ಠ so yAY. THAT'S IT. See y'all later! \o
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


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